after feeling unbelievably overwhelmed with everything going on, i finally broke down and let it all out. as much as i hate showing weakness, it felt great. not the whole unloading part but just knowing i could break down like that and he'd understand me. he said he knew something was wrong but he figured i'd tell him when i was ready. and then i smacked him upside his head. why the fuck does he do that? bitch knows i got problems.
he said he's actually feeling a lot better about things with his mom....not so much with his dad and that i shouldn't be worried about that stuff.
me? not worry? yeah, right.

he went to the M with me today. it was nice. i really don't think i could've been there alone.
i know technically i wouldn't have been alone since the whole fucking family was there but you know, i just needed him there with me.

i admit i went there expecting the worse but surprisingly my mom wasn't that bad. she wasn't quite as active but she was cussing everyone out for running through her kitchen. so she was still my Mama V. we talked for a bit and she said the azasan has been working fine so she was feeling like herself again so i didn't need to worry about her.
uh huh.
yeah.

i felt kinda bad about J's family not being together. he said it didn't really bother him but he's a little liar. his family has never been apart like they are now so i know it bothers him more than he wants anyone to think it does. but what can i do?

my sister and nephew and that thing that might be her husband or something flew up for the weekend. my little fat-fat is getting so big. he wobbles his little ass around destroying everything in his path. he assaulted C too. it was funny as fuck. she went over to pick him up and give him a kiss but he was like "hell to the nah, shawty" and yanked the little girl's hair. and she yelled "TIA! GET THIS LIL BOY OFF ME! WHOOP HIM!"

she got him back during the egg hunt though. every egg he waddled after, she snatched it up. he fixed his little mouth to call her a bitch several times but it never quite came out.

my great aunt told me i'd be adding a new member to the family around this time next year. if she wasn't old and senile i'd probably believe her but she is so i don't. plus J already told me we have to wait at least until december before the baby-making begins.

oh yeah, while we were helping the kiddies count their eggs, the two crackheads almost engaged in fisticuffs over a piece of chicken.

*shakes head*
black people.

i guess Uncle Willie wanted a specific piece of chicken but when he was about to get it, Uncle Charles stuck his fork over and grabbed it from him and said "Yeah, buddy. Got that white meat."

Willie was like "Nigga, you know I was finna get that piece. Give it here!"
Charles: "I ain't givin yo' po' ass shit! Move out my way so I can eat this here food!"
Willie: "That's my chicken! Gimme my chicken! I'mma whoop yo' ass!"

before the beer bottles and cans could start flying, my brother broke it up. he's always ruining shit. we left soon after so there's not telling what happened later.

we had a nice little drive back home. it's amazing that after all this time we can drive for 3 hours and still manage to talk about any and everything the entire time.

maya was so happy to see us J when we got back she pissed all over J's leg. either that or her bladder just couldn't hold it anymore.

once he got all piss-free he carried me off to the bedroom and gave me some sexual healing. i loverz that man.

so now, i'm chill. we've turned our frowns upside down and made the headboard beat up the wall. he's studying and i'm blogging. all is good in the not-so-wonderful world of m33ms and j4y.

for now.

p.s. does that picture freak anyone out when it pops up? it scurred me.

twice.

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 7:12 PM | |