ittle-bittle-littles!

you are now an ass-kicking 14 month old! firstly, mommy needs you to STOP RUNNING! "come here, lits!" does not mean "run in the opposite direction of mommy and make her chase you down, lits!" seriously, that's all you do- run & play. don't get me wrong. i'm all for you tiring yourself out, getting a bath, and getting your little ass in bed by 8. i'm almost 7 months pregnant. i'm over it; i don't wanna run after you anymore. but i still wuvs you.

mmkay, so, daddy came back and you got sick. sickly little thing you were. a terrible cold with a double ear infection and then a sinus infection to go along with it. you were so miserable, as was i and your daddy. there were days and nights you would scream so that all i could do was cry along with you. trying to console and comfort you only seemed to make you feel worse and i was convinced i was a terrible mother. but after a few visits to the ER and your pediatrician, a couple of rounds of antibiotics, you're back to being my sweet littleface and i don't have to wear the itchy face mask anymore.

you continue to grow and learn and amaze me every day. your vocabulary has grown quite a bit into recognizable words and i couldn't be more proud of you. we spend hours every day learning colors, animals, shapes and many other objects. while you've definitely got the tune of the ABC song down, we haven't quite got all the letters. you can also count to five. my favorite thing is to ask you what your name is. first, you blurt out "NAME!" followed by "ninnapay" [littleface]. then, i ask you what your real name is and you say "aylawee!" probably the cutest thing yet.

since we're getting close to the arrival of your baby sister, mommy has been in nesting-mode and you've been a big help [in your own way]. you love helping me clean up and put away baby clothes, diapers, and wipes. it is so fun to watch you try and move those big ol' tupperware bins of clothes from one side of the room to the other. when we're done sorting and organizing, you grab a book and we read to your sister. whenever you feel or see her moving around , you rest your little head on me and rub my ever-growing belly. you're such a sweet little darling.

i almost forgot! you enjoy talking on the phone quite a bit. i'm pretty sure you get more phone calls than i do and i'm actually capable of forming clear, complete sentences. you're so cute though, especially when you say, "huddo dada!" then you just start yammering away, laughing with your little head all cocked to the side like you're all grown up and shit. i finally gave up trying to get you to play with your toy phones instead slobbering all over my shit, so i found one of my old phones and let you have it. but you were not satisfied with that. no, you wanted a fully-functioning cellphone. and by fully-functioning, i mean a phone that lights up and makes "real" sounds when you press a button or 50. that's not even the really fucked up thing though. what's super fucked is that i actually took the time to charge a motherfucking phone i don't even use to appease my 1 year old daughter. so, now as long as you've got your sippy cup and your blackberry, you're good. the fuck is this?!

oh, my little buttercup. it's gonna be pretty damn interesting around here over the next few days. all four of your grandparents are spending thanksgiving with us, along with all of your aunts and uncles and your two cousins......and i'm almost 7 months pregnant.

ava-marie, you are such a fucking gangsta. i love everything about you. the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright stank. girl, the shit that comes out of your ass....not natural, kid. not natural at all. i promise that i will always do my best to be a great mom. we're gonna laugh, we're gonna cry, and we're gonna fight. through it all, i will always be there for you with unconditional love. please don't step on and kick your baby sister in the head like you do with your babydolls.

xoxo
mama
--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:35 PM | |

having a toddler is so damn awesome 95% the time. ava-marie is such a happy, carefree little person; you can't help but love being around her. she just talks and talks with the most intense expressions on her face. she makes me think she's telling me some really heavy shit, like secret government information, and i'm a terrible person because i don't understand a single word that's coming out of her mouth. but i sit and nod in agreement and engage with her like i really know what's going on in the conversation we're having.

i can deal with the her crankiness, tantrums, refusing to eat, pouring juice on my freshly swiffered kitchen floor, daddy being gone for a month.... but i absolutely hate it when my little girl is sick. oh, she's just so damn pitiful. it's as if all the life in her is being sucked out and i'm left with this limp little noodle of a kid. the coughing, the runny nose, the fever, the whimpering. ugh, the whimpering. that's what truly breaks my heart. it's different when she's crying just be an asshole from when she's crying because she's sick and doesn't know what the hell to do with herself. then, she curls up in my arms and gives me these looks like "mama, make it stop. make it go away", and i die a little.

it's already a task to take care of a sick one year old, but then there's me trying not to get sick so the little nugget in the oven doesn't get sick. goodness. i could really use a long nap right about now.

ETA: we had to take lits to the ER at 2am after her fever spiked and she was screaming bloody murder. fun stuff, let me tell ya. poor baby has a double ear infection and to go along with this terrible cold she has. follow-up with the pediatrician tomorrow morning. for now, i have to torture the kid with antibiotics and a syringe up her nose. ugh.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 1:11 PM | |

and everyone, well almost everyone is sleeping. the little nugget thought i was due for some sidekicks to the uterus, so here i am. Jay was actually supposed to be home on sunday but managed to get an earlier flight out and surprised us this afternoon. the past couple of days had been pretty rough with lits being sick and cranky and whiny, so when she finally took a nap, i passed out right beside her. i thought i was dreaming when i heard "baby, i'm home. wake up." i was like "no, i just laid down. go away. need sleep now." but then, i could smell his cologne and i knew i wasn't dreaming. i woke up and saw my husband's face who i haven't seen in over a month and i peed my pants a little. i do that a lot. goddamn babies fucking up my bladder control.

then, he woke up lits and she looked at him like "get the fuck outta here!" and then she cried. so dramatic. i don't know where she gets that from. at that point, lits was like 'fuck a nap' and just babbled on endlessly to her daddy. i didn't understand most of it but i know she was saying some fucked up shit about me.

Jay is really relieved to be back home but feels guilty for being gone for so long and feels like he missed a lot. i kinda wanted to be a bitch and make him feel worse but i didn't. i still really really REALLY want to, but i think i'm gonna put that in my little bag of tricks and fuckery to use later. seeing my littleface and my hubby smile and laugh, snotbubbles and all, is really all i need right now.

oh, and a red bellpepper with whipped cream.

pregnancy. gotta love it.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:05 PM | |