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Thursday, September 25, 2008

    i built a baby, y'all!

after 9 months of waiting and almost 13 hours of labor, Ava-Marie Taylor is finally here!

September 22, 3:07PM
7lbs, 3oz. & 19.2 inches

she's so gonna be taller than me.
pictures to come when i can tear myself away from this little face for more than 2 minutes.



Sunday, September 21, 2008

    so over it

still no baby. *sigh*

i really wish men could get pregnant so they could truly understand what this whole experience is like for women and know that our bitchy attitudes and other crazy behaviors are more than justified. i think i find that more frustrating than anything else about pregnancy-- Jay doesn't really get the emotional toll it takes on me. he tries, i know he tries, but sometimes trying just isn't enough. if i'm crying because i can't get a stupid top back on the pepsi bottle, the last thing i want to hear is him laughing because "it's not that serious, babe."i pretty much expect that from him though; he's stupid. but what really pisses me off is him inviting people over to watch football and them making little snide comments because i ordered pizza and hotwings instead of standing over a hot stove cooking all fucking day. um, hello? i'm building a baby and i've got cankles. i'm not really interested in playing perfect housewife to your candy asses today. kthanksgofuckyourself. *smileyface*

sweet, precious Ava-Marie Taylor, please get out of my uterus now. mommy love you long time. i promise.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

    yeah, that taco bell is NOT agreeing with me

i have the raunchiest gas ever in the history of gas. i mean, it's not very often that i leave the room because of my own farts. whoo!

i would've posted yesterday but i like to be away from home as much as possible when Jay's out of town. keeps me from driving myself insane. plus, it's creepy out here in the country.

oh, before i forget, because i know i will, i finally lost my mucus plug last night. first, mucus is just an awful word in and of itself. say it. it sounds all kinds of nasty. second, it's just as nasty as it sounds but that didn't stop me from scooping it out of the toilet to get a closer look while i screamed in excitement on the phone to Jay. i kinda wish i hadn't told him because now he's in freakout mode thinking i'm gonna go into labor before he can get back home. i'm like, 'dude, you'll be home in less than2 days [if i actually remember to pick him up from the airport this time]. chill the fuck out.' so, i'm trying to stay in my cool, calm mode at least until the doctor's appointment on tuesday. it was like 8 or 9 days after i lost my mucus plug that i had Z. i'm hoping Ava will hold out at least another week, but 10 days at the most cause daddy will be on leave from work then and i refuse to gain any more weight after that. i am not having an 8+ pound baby; it's just not happening .

i think she's turned but i'm not really sure. the past couple of days, her kicks have been pretty much in one general area, but little babies are so full of trickery and deception so who knows.

here are a few pictures of the nursery. i'm only posting the ones that give you the general scheme of the room because i haven't figured how to keep google and other search engines from caching my blog. people be stealing my shit. also, i have to wait for Jay to get home to take really good pictures because my fingers are fat and i couldn't hold the damn camera steady to save my life right now.

the crib. so stinkin cute. the bedding is microsuede and i like to rub my bare belly against it. it feels so nice.

i was trying to get a corner shot of her name over the crib, the crib, and that corner closet. FAIL.

my ass loves this chair. like WHOA.

the location of 'sweet dreams' was all Jay. i'm still not sure if i like it. everytime i look at it, something feels *off*. i just can't put my finger on it.

it looks so fucking gorgeous though. even with me interrupting every 15 minutes to see how much progress he'd made. i think i cried for almost an hour when he was finally finished. "we're having a baby and it's so beautiful and you didn't let me do anything and i have to pee now!"

we actually had to take the changing table back because one of the legs was unstable and there is no way in hell i was keeping faulty merchandise all up and through here. and i have got to find some curtains to match the valance. at first, i liked it with just that and the mini-blinds but i changed my mind this morning cause i can. i also wonder how much effort [and majorly freaking out] was really necessary to put into just this one little room. i know myself pretty well and i foresee a little chocolate crib making its way to our bedroom once she's outgrown her little bassinet much to the dismay of her daddy.

and now, we wait.

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Monday, September 15, 2008

    pink chocolate

nursery is almost done. *happy dance*

Jay did an amazing job with painting and all that jazz. seriously, it looks like a *professional* did it. i'm gonna put the finishing touches on tomorrow some time. i've got to put all the bedding in the crib and hook up the mobile get clothes and pampers and wipes and everything else i couldn't get in the closet out of the tupperware bins and into the dresser and armoire. i was super tired today and didn't get around to doing much of anything. i'm glad we got different furniture; the black would've majorly clashed with chocolate/espresso, tan/camel colors. i should totally be a nursery decorator.

now, i have to pee and i'm hungry. go cowboys!

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

    *knock knock*

who's there?
not cool, Ava-Marie. not cool.

well, the little chickadee is chugging along just fine. in fact, she's had quite the growth spurt just over the past 2 weeks. she's almost 6 pounds and about 19 inches. at my last visit, she wasn't even at the 5 pound mark! i don't feel so bad about having gained those 3 pounds now. but i'm really hoping she comes sooner than later. stubborn little girl is still in breech position though. the doctor suggested performing an ECV and i wanted to snap his little neck in half when the words came out of his mouth. hell to the muthafuckin no. keep it movin', buddy.

ya know what? Ava has a head full of hair. at first, that made me really happy cause you know how much i just adore my own hair. so, of course, i want my little girl to have really pretty hair too. but as i was entering hour #2 of straightening my hair the other night, i thought about how much of a hassle that shit is gonna be when she gets older. motherfuck me with a stick. i'm gonna have to plan a whole day just for hair care. i don't think i like that.

my sister and nephew are still here, but will probably be leaving in the next week or so to go stay with my mom. divorce papers will be signed next week. she agreed to leave with nothing in exchange for sole custody. now, it could be that i over-analyze shit, but something's soooooo not right with that arrangement. the only reason she's not asking for anything is so that she doesn't have to go through a long, drawn out divorce; she just wants it to be over. but the custody thing? that's fishy. while the douche has never really been an *active* father, he gave it up waaaaayyyy too easily. he knows she'll still let him see the kid, but i really think he would try to kidnap his own son. i mean, he didn't contest that issue at all. AT ALL. that doesn't sit well with me. gawd, i wanna castrate that man.

Jay's paternity leave begins in 2 weeks. i'm hoping little miss priss comes around that time so that he gets to spend as much time at home with her as possible. oh my gawd, this baby is gonna be so stinkin' spoiled. i know all we're gonna do is hold her even when she doesn't wanna be held. but you know what? i don't care cause i'm the momma and i get to do what i want. like right now, Jay's getting ready for bed but i'm gonna make him go to the store for some oreos and sharp cheddar cheese even though he was just out and called to ask if i wanted anything. hey, i'm not a psychic. you can't predict cravings. you just can't.

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Thursday, September 04, 2008

    um, wha?

i got this email this afternoon from "Julio", which by the way is a really awesome name, and i'm wondering if somebody's trying to set me up.

Hi ,

I am responsible for the featured blogs program at Experience Project, a life-experience sharing community reaching nearly 1.5 million people every month, and discovered your blog through the blogroll of one of our featured blogs (http://brain-soup.blogspot.com). We are always on the lookout for high-quality bloggers to feature to our community, and I thought that your blog would be of interest to our members. I’d like to feature your blog and invite you to join this group of hand-picked high-quality featured bloggers.

Featuring your blog on Experience Project is a way for you to showcase your content to an audience that cares about the topics you write about. Our program offers invited bloggers with 3 main benefits, totally free of charge to you and not requiring any change in where or how you blog:

  • Direct exposure to a large community that cares about the topics you write about
  • High-quality links back to your site for every post you publish (which helps your standing in search engine results)
  • Increase reader engagement and retention by featuring relevant content through a customized widget

We’d like to invite you to check it out, we are sure that you won’t regret it! Our community would love to discover your content, and I think you’ll soon start seeing the many benefits this will have. You can join today at EPBlogs.com.


- Julio

About Experience Project:

Experience Project (http://ExperienceProject.com) is the world’s largest repository for life experiences. Our community welcomes users to anonymously read and share stories about those topics that matter most to them and meet others that ‘just get it.’ Experience Project has documented over 1.5 million authentic life experiences in a supportive and positive environment. Prominent bloggers can participate on Experience Project (in a non-anonymous fashion) by featuring their content to the EP community – gaining valuable exposure and readership for no cost.

hmmm....Ava-Marie is giving me no-no kicks so i'm gonna have to decline, Julio. i bet you scream your own name when you're fucking. i know if my name was Julio, i would.


Wednesday, September 03, 2008

    i like to complain a lot

i'm not gonna make it to october. i'm just not. no way in hell. i will get this baby out by my damn self if i have to go the full 40 weeks. fucking torture is what it is. i can't sit or stand for more than 20 minutes without feeling like someone has taken a sledge hammer and crushed my lower back. i'm getting migraines every other day. i keep getting these random-ass nose bleeds. and these awful goddamn contractions. i've been a good girl, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?!

and i hate hate hate hate FUCKING HATE people "trying to help". leave me alone. you are not helping; you're making me extremely anxious and nervous and getting on my goddamn nervesjust standing there breathing. and why the fuck are you breathing so loudly? get the fuck away from me before i slit your fucking throat. except if you're my nephew cause he's the bee's knees. he just wants kisses and hugs and to rest his little curly head on my big titties. and maybe cop a feel here and there. i don't really appreciate him stealing my juicy juice or throwing his sippy cup at me, but i'm gonna let that shit go.....for now. but on his 5th birthday, shit is on like donkey kong.

Jay, if you're reading this, and i know you are, i'm sorry for throwing the screwdriver at your head and smashing your laptop with the stroller. but you really shouldn't tell me you're gonna do something and start doing work stuff instead. it makes me very angry. forgive me? k. oh, and i kinda forgot to pick up your suits from the dry cleaner so you might wanna make a stop there when you leave work. i'd do it but i don't really feel like it, so i'm not gonna. actually, it's more that i don't wanna go out because it's so hot and i'd rather just play in the pool with the little midget. and i'm not cooking again until after the baby is like a year old because you made me cook on labor day for your stupid friends and coworkers. xoxox

oooh, the bodyguard is on.

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Monday, September 01, 2008

    dear football season,

i hate you.
i hope you get AIDS and die.

xo mimi