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Friday, June 27, 2008

    this week....

1. i plucked 7 random LONG hairs from my baawwdy. there was a hair growing out of my forehead. MY FOREHEAD! pregnancy side effect.
2. i tried some gold bond so my feet would stop sweating. it doesn't really work if you only wear flip flops. yes, my feet sweat even when i'm wearing flip flops. another pregnancy side effect.
3. i attempted to start packing up the nursery.....but i lasted only 30 seconds in the room before i had the urge to cry hysterically for 3 hours.
4. i've felt very overwhelmed with......life.
5. i've kinda been regretting not signing up for that micro.biology summer class. now i'm gonna have to wait until the spring to take it....if i even wanna take it then.
6. i came to the realization that i wasted 3.5 years in college. nearly 2 years after graduating, i still don't know what i wanna do with my life. don't judge me.
7. i dreamed about 'childbirth gone wrong' 2 nights in a row. it's very unsettling.
8. i had a moment with my husband. i wish i could put into words how much i love and adore that man.
9. i started working out again. i don't wanna have to invest too much time in losing baby weight. so i'm thinking if i can stay consistent now until whenever my doctor tells me stop, it won't be hard for me to get back to a routine after miss wiggles arrives. and my maternity workout clothes are so damn cute.
10. i bought new bras. again. i don't want big titties anymore.
11. i haven't napped as much as i usually do and *gasp* i'm not cranky.
12. my husband has come home almost every day this week for some afternoon delight. oh yeah, mama likes.

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

    because there's always something for me to complain about

well, my fat ass is exhausted. i'd planned to spend the morning waiting impatiently by the phone to get the inspection results of our prospective home, eating, and then napping the rest of the day. instead, i was forced to do stuff because my husband is a douchenozzle.

time: this morning
place: the kitchen
what: typical conversation between me and my husband

Me: I found another stray hair. this time? it was on my tummy. right below my belly button.
Jay: Yeah, I thought I saw that last night.
M: And you didn't think that was something I needed to know?
J: Nope. Cause you get those tweezers and start poking and tweezing around for hours. And then you start tweezing my eyebrows. I don't like that.
M: I'm just makin' sure you stay pretty.
J: It's gay, Mimi. GAAAAYYYYY.
M: Yeah, and you spending an hour looking at yourself in the mirror isn't.....
J: You gotta respect the sexy, dollface. Respect the sexy. By the way, I need you to take the truck in for service at 9 o'clock.
M: This morning? For what?
J: It's due for an oil change and all that maintenance stuff.
M: Why are you always waiting 'til the last minute to tell me stuff like that? You know that's gonna take forever. Why can't you do it?
J: I have to go to work. It's not like you're doing anything else.
J: Excuse me, use your inside voice. And I need you to go get food and drinks and stuff for the cookout.
M: Don't yell at me.

so i had to sit at the stupid dealership for damn near 4 hours. gah, i can't remember the last time i was so annoyed and uncomfortable. i was annoyed at the fact that i had to be there to begin with. then, those cuntfaces had the tv on foxnews and after every fucking segment, this old lady would turn to ME and start giving me her loose change. if i want to hear your opinion, i'll ask for it; i'm trying to make a grocery list here. then she started asking about the baby and our plans and giving parenting advice. i really hate it when people do that.

and the chairs-- straight back with nearly no cushion. after an hour of that fuckery, i had to make one of the guys behind the desk give me his chair because i couldn't stand sitting in that bullshit. actually, sitting in shit would've been a helluva lot more comfortable. i was so glad to finally get out of that place. made me miss the young and the restless.

and then there was grocery shopping. as if gas prices going up every day weren't enough, now i gotta spend double the amount for the same quantity of food. i compared the amount i spent last month to this month's receipt and i spent almost $100 more on nearly the exact same items.

something just ain't right.

by the time i made it home, i was ready to decapitate the next person who even blinked an eye in my direction. but then Jay called, and i always get all giggly when it's him no matter how pissed off i am, to tell me about the inspection of the house. everything is perfect. well, almost. the current owners have to install a new cooling unit thingy, but we already knew about that. so, now all that's left is all the legal stuff. i'm not exactly sure how long that'll take but i'm pretty sure July will be the month Jay and i are officially homeowners. i'm so excited i could piss my pants. *happy dance*

in case you didn't catch the name in the comments section of the previous post, we decided to name our little mama, Ava-Marie Taylor. i finally got Jay's seal of approval saturday night; although, i think alcohol and my really really good sex did the trick. i really liked the names Ava & Taylor but they didn't really mesh well. so, i was gonna go with Ava Marie [Marie in honor of my maternal grandmother, Maria] but i didn't feel like it had enough pizzazz. then Ava-Marie Taylor popped in my head and that was it. my little diva has her name now. my favoritest gayboy says it sounds like a drag queen's name, but all the queens i know are full of divalicious fierceness, so it's PERFECT!

now, we've just gotta get moved in our new house and get it ready for our little squishy's arrival.

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Monday, June 16, 2008

    "do they have milk in 'em yet?"

it seems like forever since i last blogged and i haven't even been all that busy. well, i complain about how hot it is all the time. thank man for air conditioning.

let's see....oh, my doctor miscalculated my due date. the last 2 visits he was saying i was x-weeks along and i was like, 'umm, no' because i know exactly when this little bunny was conceived. it kinda irked me but i didn't really think much about it because it was only like a 2-week difference, but then this past visit, he was all 'oh, you're actually this far along. my bad.' and i was like 'yeah, i know. now, what if my husband was actually smart for a day and started thinking about the conception date and all that stuff? don't fuck up a happy home.'

speaking of homes, i think we've found our nest. it was the last place we looked at before Jay left for the week. 5 bedrooms, 6 baths. marbled foyer. like 4 fireplaces. HUGE kitchen. all kinds of goodness. i don't wanna jinx it, but tomorrow we're gonna make an offer and hopefully, they accept. *fingers&toes crossed*

i went to see my oldest sister in chicago for a few days while Jay was away. i'm pretty sure the only reason i bothered to go was because Jay was gone. i don't really like either of my sisters; we only tolerate each other. we only cussed each out a couple of times though. that's progress. the weather was nice. lotsa shopping. this one old dude thought we were twins. i thought that was kinda odd because i actually look more like my other sister than her and no one's ever said we look like twins. although, i do suspect he'd been hitting the bottle a little hard. oh, homegirl cannot cook. jeez. never have i ever. and i didn't particularly care for the way she cleaned the place. she's not dirt-nasty; she doesn't clean up to my standards of clean. it was a good visit though. it wasn't forced and we were both genuinely excited to spend time together. no one in my family seems to wanna let the whole eloping thing go, though. 6 months later and their still talking shit. ugh. let it go, people. let it go.

Jay came home this past saturday horny as a jack rabbit. no complaints there. we hardly left the bedroom the entire weekend. 'twas lovely. his birthday is this saturday so we're gonna go see ''the dark side of oz''. it's the pink floyd album ''the dark side of the moon'' played against ''the wizard of oz'' with awesome visual effects. word.

AvaBellaTaylor is currently rocking out to some Zeppelin. she doesn't have consistent levels of activity yet. it kinda worried me at first when i wouldn't feel any movements but i've got my handy dandy heart monitor to check up on the little one. some days, like today, she's active during the day. other days, she's really active at night. i kinda prefer all the moving about at night cause that's when i'm usually awake and that's how it was with Z. but that's just one of the many differences between this pregnancy and the one before. hello, titties.

i'm hungry as hell right now. i think it's gonna be a french fries and gravy night.

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Thursday, June 05, 2008

    clean it like you mean it!

i don't think it's normal for someone to get sick as often as i do in a calendar year. it just ain't right.

i've started packing stuff up, getting ready for our big move. oh, no, we still haven't found a house; we're postponing our search until the end of the month when Jay's not traveling so much. i just have it in my mind that if i start preparing as if we're moving next week, things will magically fall into place, and when it really is time for us move, packing will be the least of our worries.

also, i've started nesting. and packing things away kinda combats my urge to clean every room and reorganize things over and over again and the urge to start decorating. i'm not even due until late september/early october and i've packed my overnight bag TWELVE TIMES in the past 2 days. it would probably be more than that, but we had a doctor's visit this morning. it's way too soon for me to be as anxious as i am, so i just know i'm gonna be a complete mess when august rolls around.

all is well with my little piggy. while scoping out her little tushy on the sonogram, i thought i saw a little penis and almost had a heart attack. it turned out to be her little thumb though. i guess she's getting an early start on that whole *self love*.

along with my lovely little cold, i've also been experiencing some ligament pains. i never had any of that shit while i was pregnant with Z, so it freaked me the fuck out when i first started having them. my first thought was 'something's wrong with the baby' and my thoughts just went downhill from there. i'm sure my doctor loved that 2am phone call. but the little one and i are trucking along just fine.

this pregnancy is sooo much different than when i was carrying Z, both physically and emotionally. Jay's parents appear to be putting forward great effort to mend fences with him and me [what?!]. they're lucky this baby is making me all nice and shit. no, seriously, i'm very happy Jay and his folks are getting along because it makes him happy. and i really want our kids to experience life with having both sets grandparents around to spoil them because that's something Jay and i never had. however, i'm somewhat indifferent when it comes to my own relationship with his parents. if a reconciliation happens, that's great; if it doesn't, that's fine too. but i'd be lying if i said it didn't make things just a little more easier for me.

ohmygoodness. Jay's birthday is just a little over 2 weeks away and i still have no freakin idea what to get him. we'd planned to go to bonnaroo, but he'll be in vegas and i just can't be fat, dirty, and sweaty for 4 straight days. although, if they'd gotten led zeppelin to play, i'd be there fat belly and all. hell, i'd show up all stank and dingy-lookin. but i digress.
i've pretty much ran out of ideas for gifts for my man. he always tells me he doesn't want anything, but i always do and he's like a 5 year old on christmas morning. any suggestions? bueller? bueller? bueller?

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Sunday, June 01, 2008


i have a cold, my husband has been gone for 3 days and won't be home until wednesday days, i'm getting fatter, it's been storming for the past 2 days, i'm horny but i have no batteries, i'm sleepy but i have no one to cuddle with, and i really want some taco bell but i don't have anyone to go get it for me.