i s'pose i should elaborate a little more on that last post now.

the condensed version:
thursday night, we went to a party.
lots of drinking. and i do mean LOTS.
J and i separated for a while.
he stayed with his little bunch of friends and i went to mingle with some people, attempting to be not so mean and bitchy.
some girl wanted to fight me cause she thought i stole her boyfriend or somethin. i didn't even know that bitch or her stupid boyfriend or whatever the fuck he is.
i guess she realized she had the wrong person, and that i was more than willing to whoop her ass, so she backed off.
i don't remember much after that but apparently:
some guy i was talking to slipped something in my drink.
dude was probably gonna rape me if no one had told J "some guy is dragging your girlfriend off somewhere."
when J stopped him and asked what was he doing? "oh, you want a piece too?"
yeah, classy.
needless to say, J kicked his ass into his spleen.
cops showed up.
they did nothing because the guy has *connections* with the metro pd[and people wonder why i have no faith in our legal or criminal justice system]

when i wrote that last post, i had just gotten out of the shower and J was gone. since i only remembered up to *almost* getting in a fight with some random girl, i thought he was mad at me for getting drunk and acting stupid. i mean, he never cleans anything except his dirty ass so i thought he was just livid.
when he came in, he was like "You finally woke up" and i was like "You cleaned and you went grocery shopping. Are you mad at me?"

him: *WTF? look* "No, why would I be mad at you?"

me: "I don't know. I figured I must've really pissed you off since you cleaned the entire apartment."

him: "Noooo....How are you feeling?"

me: "Groggy and maybe just a wee bit hungover. I'm never drinking again."

him: *WTF? look* "You have no idea what happened last night, do you?"

me: "Whatchu talkin 'bout Ja_son?"

and then he told me the not-so condensed version.

at first i was shocked.
then i was mad at myself for letting something like happen but J reminded me that shit like that is never anyone's fault except the douches who do the stupid shit.
then i was pissed because even after telling the cops what happened, they didn't do anything about it, but then not so much because i expect that from them.
then came all the "what if's?" i think that's the quickest way to lose one's mind. think of all the possible scenarios that could've happened if one person hadn't been around to save your ass [again].
and finally i just said "fuck it". i'm not doing the victimized routine, i'm just gonna hate and not trust people even more now. that seems to be the only way to keep myself away from shit like last thursday night.
being a hateful, antisocial bitch.

Labels: this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 9:44 AM | |