just got a whole bunch of goings-ons.

recap? of course.

friday - went to our school's graduation to see some friends/enemies/frienemies end one chapter and a start a new one in their lives. afterwards, went to a friend's little gathering where my oh-so-wonderful fiance decided to steal not one, but two shrimp platters. how he managed to sneak out with those things? i do not know but i swear the summer is when the redneck in that boy comes out.

friday night- drove home for the weekend. we got pulled over like 5 seconds from our neighborhood cause J was swerving a little. he wasn't under the influence. he was just blowing a load in my mouth. i got that killafihead. butanyhoos, officer friendly let us go with a warning.

first we stopped at my mom's house. that woman has issues. it was a little late but i called beforehand to tell her we were on our way and this bitch still tried to mace us when we came in cause "shit sounded suspect down here". i just put my stuff up in my room and got the fuck up outta there.

over at J's place, one big ass hug-and-tear fest. that asshole wasted no time showering his mom with affection and completely ignoring me. maybe not completely but i still didn't like that shit.

saturday morning- J and i took our moms out for breakfast where they proceeded to hound us about setting a wedding date and giving them some grandbabies. J pinched me cause i said it's his fault they don't have grandbabies yet. of course i was half-joking but it kinda is. i think we're gonna have like a dozen kids before we ever get married just cause that's how shit works for me. nothing ever goes the way i plan it.

later, he and i took C to Bogey's since we wouldn't be home for her birthday. yeah, we were asked to leave shortly after we got there cause J attacked the skeeball machine for not giving him his tickets. he's a special one. we didn't have enough tickets to get the stuff she wanted so i made J pay for it. plus, the kid has to get what she wants. i don't like being called a bad tia.

C and i went back to my mom's and J went off with his folks. my sister got all pissy with me cause we didn't tell her we were taking my mom out for breakfast. i was like "you used douche, you're cooking dinner for her. shut your face." she pinched me and i pulled her hair. feel the love? and why do people always pinch me?

saturday night- J and i attempted to go out to dinner and go see Poseidon but everything was packed and the two theaters we went to were sold out. since that was a no-go, we went downtown and sat on the riverbank. mosquitoes were tearing my almost-black ass up so we just went back home and smoked out, did the nasty a coupla times and fell asleep. yep. we're classy bitches.

sunday morning- i tried to sneak out before he woke up but he caught me and made me stay another hour to snuggle with him. he gave me this cute little mother's day card and wrote "you beat me with mountain dew bottles but i still wuv you mommy, wuverz Maya [our dog]" and at the bottom he wrote "p.s. daddy loves you and your naughty bits" with a little smiley face. one of the many reasons why he's my bestest.

i eventually made it back over to my mom's and he stayed with his family the rest of the day. my mom just totally took advantage of us [me and the sibs] doing stuff for her.

Mom: "Mija, get the remote for me."
Me: "But you're closer to it."
Mom: "But i asked you to get it."
Me: *mumbling profane words*
Mom: "What was that?"
Me: "Nothing." [insert fake smile here]

she sent my little brother to the store for some ice cream and he came with Blue Bell. bitch wanted Breyer's so she told him to take it back and get the brand she wanted. he wasn't going though. "shiiiitt, i wish i would go back to that storeto exchange some damn ice cream." so he took some masking tape, covered up "Blue Bell", and wrote "Breyer's" over it.

see, that's why he and i get along so well. we're both smartasses and we feed off each other's smartassness.

Mama V slapped the shit outta that boy. and he took his narrow ass back to kroger and got that damn breyer's ice cream. i love my mommy but that woman is cuh-razy.

J and i made it back here really late sunday night. we were both tired as hell but mustered up enough strength to do the nasty. i'm a big bitch when we don't commit sins of the flesh regularly.

then monday. oh monday. J left earlier than usual so he could take some stuff to the cleaners and i stayed home later just cause i was tired. i got in the shower a little before 9 and when i got out, i heard Maya barking and growling in the kitchen. the little fucker is a little crazy so i yelled "shut up". usually, she quiets down but she didn't so i knew something was wrong. i grabbed my bathrobe and went in the kitchen and there's this creepy looking dude standing there with a drill and air filter. and he just looked at me like i was the damn stranger.

Me: *grabs the knife from the counter* "Who the hell are you?"
Him: *hands up* "Whoa lady. I'm just the maintenance guy."
Me: "I don't care! Get out!"
Him: "I have to change the air filter."
Me: "Either I cut you or call the police. Choose wisely."
Him: "I just came to change the air filter but they don't pay me enough to die for it. I think I'll just leave."
Me: "Ya think?"

we were gonna wait until our lease was up at the end of july to move but when you've got creepy maintenance dudes who come in while you're taking a shower, a nigga gotsta go asap. i went over to the main office and told them hoes i was moving the fuck out cause they didn't give us 24 hour notice of someone coming in and in the lease it clearly stated that's what they'd do. then some bitch said some shit about me having to pay for breaking the lease and i told her to kiss my ass. then i called J and told him we were moving today [monday] and there was nothing he could say to change my mind and by 6:00pm we were signing a new lease for the new place that i'd been eyeing. yes, it was really that serious. i refuse to stay at that place knowing some creepy dude has a key to my home and can just waltz in whenever he wanted to. J said i was overreacting but he wasn't there so he can lick my ass.

[insert sigh here]

we've got a few more things to move but we've got all the major stuff. we just got our cable and internet hooked up late this afternoon so i'm set. i absolutely love the new place. IT'S GOT NEW PLACE SMELL.

pros:
more space/more rooms to fuck in
nice view
thick walls
nice neighborhood
utilities included nevermind.
i get to buy new furniture and decorate
it's just gorgeous

cons:
a lot farther away from school...like 30 miles i think. traffic is gonna be a bitch.
more than double what we were paying at the other place
had to wait forever and a day to get cable. [really just two days but i'm impatient, dammit.]
we had to shove out bribe money in addition to the application fee, deposit, and first month's rent. ugh.
that's about it

i'm enjoying the new condo vibes. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. i think my hunny bunny's worn out from all the moving i've made him do the past coupla days. he's on the couch curled up like a little baby with the blanket pulled over his head. he's too cute.

i have a test friday. i should be studying right now but i like procrastinating. i wish these muthafuckas would hurry up and eliminate a bitch on American Idol.

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:43 PM | |