i had to go to the hoo-hoo doctor today so she could violate me with the speculum.
i told that heifer to use the kiddy one but she didn't listen.
she could've at least held me when it was over.

i asked about the nuvaring.
yeah, that ain't gon' work for me.
J will knock that thing straight up into my uterus.
i think i'm just gonna stick with the pill.

*

broccoli and carrots make my farts smell like wet cabbage.
like whoa.

*

i hope angelina jolie's baby doesn't have her lips when s/he's born.
if s/he does, that's gonna be one fucked up-looking newborn.
i'm sure s/he'll grow into his/her looks though.

*

speaking of fugly babies, kevin federline needs to stop reproducing.
all of his kids look like they got beat with an ugly stick.
especially those little gremlins he has with shar jackson.
they're the exception to the rule of all mixed kids being cute.
the one with britney looks really *special*.
i hope the next one gets britbrit's looks circa 1999.

*

i watched that little porn with that chick superhead in it a while ago.
i was not impressed with her technique.
in fact, i was highly disappointed.
you'd think somebody semi-famous for sucking dick would teach a bitch a thing or two but not that one.
i'm think i'm gonna stick with the porn with white people in it.
black peenors scurr me.
for serious.

*

i have like 8 or 9 journal articles to review.
i don't wanna.

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 1:50 PM | |