last week, i didn't really update cause i was just fed up with everyone and everything. so-called friends were being two-faced hoes, J was being a jerk, and i was ready to choke the life out of every single one of 'em. but i didn't. cause i can't go to jail. i ain't trying to be nobody's bitch. i'm too cute for that shit.

i'm well aware of the shit people talk about me. i hear everything. it's never really bothered me cause i actually kinda enjoy knowing that little ol' me has such an effect on people 'round these parts.

i am hated.
i fucking love it.

recently, people who don't even know me have been doing all the shit-talking. they're using 2-year old material so i know who they're getting their info from but i'm like, 'okay, you've never even met me so why the fuck is my name coming out of your mouth? get a fucking life.'

ordinarily, i don't let little trivial shit like that bother me but i was already having a bad week thanks to my oh-so-wonderful fiance so i just kinda had mini-meltdown, which may have included some name-calling and lamp-throwing. and i'd just bought that fucking lamp.

there's this little annual folk-ish music fest a few miles south of here. J and i had no intentions of going because 1) the lineup sucked IMO, and 2) it fell on father's day weekend and we'd already made plans to go home and hang out with his family.

so, wednesday night, we'd just got home from our little date night and he tells me he's going to bonnaroo with his friends.

the ones i wish a slow, torturous death upon?
yep, them.

i got upset not because he wanted to go, but because i know how J's puny little brain operates. he knew way before that night he wanted to go and i KNOW he told his friends he was gonna go before that night. what pissed me off was that he didn't tell me, the one who's wearing the goddamn engagement ring, until the day before he was gonna leave. what pissed me off even more was who he was going with. i do not like those nimrods. they're the most ignorant, disgustingly childish group of people i've ever known. if it were up to me, they would've been eliminated from the gene pool a long time ago.
and what really took the cake was that he didn't even have a fucking ticket and the fucking thing had been sold out for weeks already but his dumbass still wanted to go because he thought 'oh, they always say that but they'll let us buy at the gate.'

NO, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! THEY WON'T!

we argued about that for about an hour. then i cried to make him feel bad but it didn't work because he knew the only reason i was crying was so i could get my way.
bitch.

so yeah, thursday, he and the little fuckwits went on their merry little way. it took them a billion hours to drive 20 miles cause traffic was fucking horrible, but they went. i bet those little fuckers thought they were hot shit in that funky ass little van with their stupid little coolers and their stupid little tent.

i always think to put the pussy on lockdown for a few days as revenge, but i can't punish myself for his stupidity. since no sex is the only thing that really has any effect on him, that was the end of the revenge plotting. i just decided i wouldn't do his laundry, take his stupid work clothes to cleaners, and make those stupid fajitas for him anymore. it's not the same as withholding sex but he couldn't do his own laundry if you paid him with sex.

**********

friday, who comes crawling into bed at 4am?
you know, it almost sucks to be right all the time.
almost.

i could've said "i told you so" but i didn't. i was too happy to have him back home in our bed where he should've been all along. i be scurred when i'm home alone. plus, he apologized so i was over it. the penetration i was getting while he apologized over and over may have had something to do with me being over it too, but that's not really the point.
the point is: i'm always right.
duh.

anyhoos, we pretty much just stayed in bed the rest of the day spooning and tickling each other. we're special like that.

**********

saturday morning, i got breakfast in bed. yay. he made me waffles, eggs, bacon [which he ate for me], and fresh strawberries and blueberries smothered in whipped cream. absolutely loved it. now, if i could just get him to wear that leopard man-thong for me...

we left for the parentals around noon. it rained almost the whole drive there which made me nervous as hell. i'm always on edge when i'm in the passenger seat but the rain just made it a million times worse.
i was gripping the 'oh shit' handle with both hands and kept asking J if he could see through the rain cause i couldn't see. i figured if i couldn't see, then he couldn't see. but then he reminded me i didn't have my contacts in and i'm pretty blind without them or my glasses. i chilled out for a bit but then a car in front of us skid off the road so i made J pull cause i way too freaked out.

that motherfucker stopped at a rest area. that did not make me feel any better. when he and i first moved here for college 3 years ago and we would drive back and forth from here to memphis, his mom and my mom used to always tell us not to ever stop at rest areas cause big, burly truckers kill people that stop there. i don't know either but i was plenty disturbed by the whole thing.

we sat in the car for like ten minutes and i was just bawling cause i didn't wanna get killed by a truck driver but i didn't wanna get back on the road cause i didn't wanna have a wreck on the interstate. i was just a fucking mess. and J was like "baby, you have got to calm down cause i can't drive while you're like this." i wasn't trying to hear that shit. the only thing my mind was processing was truck drivers and dead bodies so i was making sure all the doors were locked and looking around for axe-wielding truckers. maya, our dog, was sitting in the back with her little head cocked to the side looking at me like 'what is this bitch's problem? does she ever shut the fuck up?'

hey, fuck you and that dog. i was scurred.

the rain eventually let up and we were back on the road again. i was still paranoid as fuck though. everytime one of those big rigs came up behind us i thought it was following us and the angry trucker was gonna run our asses off the road. but we made it to the parents' house safely.

and as soon as we walked i was like, "fuck the 'heys and hugs', i need a valium and i know somebody in this house has one."

10mg of medicinal bliss i tell ya.
i took that sumbitch at 4:30pm and didn't wake up until 8 sunday morning.
the only reason i woke up then was because J wouldn't stop poking me with his morning wood.
ya know, i don't mind the morning sex. in fact, i'm an advocate for it. but waking me up by poking me in the ass is some rude shit. i don't poke you in the ass with a cucumber while you're sleeping, do i? no, i do not. you shouldn't either.

the weather was pretty bad so instead of going out, J's mom made a big breakfast and the kiddies gave Papa J his gifts. i have to admit, i envy that relationship. in a good way though. during that moment, i kinda wished my brothers and sisters and i were close to our dad like J and his brother and sister are with their dad. hell, i don't even need the closeness, just some type of close-to-normal relationship with him. you can't choose your parents though. oh wells.

we all just kinda lounged around the house playing spades and non-nekkid twister. pure insanity. J and his brother are super competitive with each other. those two will compete to see who can drink a glass of water the fastest.

men.

the whole time we were playing twister, J and his brother would kick, punch, elbow, bite, and everything else to get the other to fall. it was just ridiculous. during one round, i ended up entangled with J's brother and he goes "expect a healthy baby boy in 9 months. little brother, you are NOT the father!" we're just cracking up because the position is so awkward for both of us, the only thing we could do was laugh and joke about it. J didn't seem to think it was so funny though.

i heard that crazy bastard yell "MOTHERF-" and before he got 'UCK' out, he punched his brother in the ribs causing all three of us to fall. J pulled me completely off the twister mat and he and his brother just start going at it.

the whole sibling rivalry thing used to be cute. now? not so much. i just looked at those idiots and went in the kitchen to steal a piece of cheesecake and called my mom. she was in chicago for the week. she attempted to harass me about not calling my dad but i told her the storm was giving me a bad reception so i hung up. yeah, i'm nice like that.

i guess the boys realized no one was paying any attention to their machismo bullshit so J came in the kitchen to feel me up and told me to go get our stuff together cause we needed to leave. i was like "yeah right. it's raining like crazy. i'm not doing that shit again."

he totally owns me so i just took a valium and slept the entire drive home. we made it here in time to catch the last few minutes of heat/mavs game. well, he did. i passed out on the kitchen floor and i'm pretty sure he waited until the game was over to throw my ass in bed and molest me make sweet sweet love to me.

**********

i didn't really feel like doing anything today so i didn't go to class. i just wanted to stay home and clean and have dinner ready for my man when he came home from work. i prefer the wifey role over the college student one. wifey role gets me good sex while college shit just stresses me the fuck out. i don't need that in my life.
i've got enough shit to deal with.

p.s. i don't know who the fuck you are either.

Labels: this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 10:11 PM | |