well, that talk didn't quite turn out how i expected.
there i was pouring my heart out, trying to let the man move on with his life, but he didn't accept the breakup.
i don't know if it was because i was slightly inebriated and he didn't understand anything i was saying because i was crying and talking like i had a fistful of shit in my mouth but his response to the whole thing was "i love you but you make me wanna choke the shit out of you sometimes. just because i don't feel like being bothered with you doesn't mean i don't wanna be with you. it means you get on my damn nerves and i need space. "

that's fine.
we all need space. but give me some kind of heads up.

"hey, i'm gonna be an asshole the next few days. i'm gonna yell at you. i'm gonna ignore you. and i'm gonna try to fuck you soon after and get pissed when you don't put out. but don't worry, nothing personal. it's my own little version of PMS."

it's not that difficult to warn a bitch. afterall, we do live together.
but nooooo, instead he acts like a prick and sets off all of my insecurities.
it's quite lovely.

right now, i have this big clusterfuck of thoughts and emotions rushing through me.
some of them have some merit but looking at the big picture, it's shit that really shouldn't overwhelm me the way it does. but no matter how many times i tell myself it's stupid and there's no reason for me to think such thoughts, it'll always be there just taunting me.

i want new memories.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:06 AM | |