J made dinner last night.
grilled chicken, wild rice, and stuffed artichokes.
he's no emeril in the kitchen but it was really good.
everything was great until we got to dessert.
he knows his limits, one of which happens to be baking, so he bought one of those betty crocker warm delights thingies.
caramel something......i don't know.
that shit was nasty.
just add water.
yeah, how about some fucking flavor while you're at it.
it tasted like week-old sugarless chocolate and dog shit.
i don't actually know what week-old sugarless chocolate and dog shit actually tastes like, but if i had to guess, that caramel thing would definitely be it.
and then it had 10 grams of fat in it!
ugh.
what a waste.

*

i was giving a friend some relationship and sex advice and he was like "you know, for someone who's only been in one serious relationship, you're really good at stuff like this."
i agree.
i'd be a great sex therapist cause i like sex and i like to talk about it.
hell, sometimes i do both at the same time.
but a relationship therapist? not so much.
i'm really good at reading people and dealing with [other peoples'] relationship problems but i don't think people could handle me.
i'm too honest for something like that.
people ask me for advice and insight to their little situations all the time, but they never actually listen to what i've told them until after the fact.
if i had a dime for everytime someone has said "meems, you were so right about him/her", i'd own a small country right now.

maybe it's because i lack tact.
i don't really care though.
if you don't wanna hear what i've gotta say, don't ask me anything when you know damn well i don't filter anything i say.

i got a coupla emails about the previous post because of how tasteless it was.
even J was like "you couldn't think of a more eloquent way to write any of that?"
um, no.
i'm not known for being nice and sugar-coating anything.
that would require me to restrict and censor myself which defeats the whole purpose of me having a blog or writing at all.
i realize a lot of what i say offends people but i'm not apologizing for it and i damn sure won't be losing any sleep over it.
there's an X on the top right on the screen that closes the window.
use it.

*

i wanna have a party.
we've had a few people over here and there but we haven't had a REAL party at this place yet.
i'm talking kegs, an endless supply of hard liquor, mary ja-hane, music, a shit load of food, the whole nine.
i like being around a lot of people i can drink and have a good time with.
unfortunately, i have too many enemies and am too confrontational to have a party and not have some shit pop off.
oh joy.
i'll settle for a cold beer, a bag of doritos, and season 1 of nip/tuck.
why can't the new season start now instead of september 5th?
i hate having to wait.

*

dude, i haven't given J a blowjob at all today.
we're not fighting and i'm not on my period so that's totally some kind of record for me.
i think my mouth is actually having some dick withdrawal.
i've had like a lot of unnecessary saliva production and it's really weird.
i've spit like five times in the past hour.
it's all J's fault.
if he hadn't made fun of me for being so orally fixated, i'd be blowing him right now.
he should be thanking his god he has someone who gives him great head at least twice a day instead of mocking me.
ungrateful douchebag.

my name is mimi and i'm a compulsive cocksucker.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:19 PM | |