go kill yourself.
kthanksbyeeeee.

*****

nothing spectacular to blog about.

i think J and i have re-entered the honeymoon phase.
the past several days have been filled with nothing but us just being together and in love and enjoying single moment of it.
it's almost how it was when we first started dating.
tonight, i asked him if at any point since we've been back together if he's wanted to be single again.
he said "you wouldn't be wearing that ring if i had any doubts about us."
i was like "that's not answering my question. do you ever find yourself wishing you were single again."
he said [even though he's really annoyed with me for keeping him awake, i'm totally making him say it again so that i get it word-for-word and cause i wanna hear it again :)] "no. i've been there and done that. the grass isn't greener on the other side. i could spend the rest of my life going out and fucking any and every girl i wanted but i'd get very little satisfaction from it. it's just empty sex. when i look at you, i see the rest of my life. it doesn't get any better than that."
again, this is why i put out so much.

it's a shame more guys don't think of being settled down the same way. i don't understand it. why do guys think of being with one person as giving up their freedom or ability to have fun?


if J wants to go out with his friends, he can and he usually does unless i bribe him with sex.
i know he and his friends go out to bars and strip clubs and do "guy stuff".
i will miss him like crazy but as long as he doesn't cross that line [which we discuss everytime he goes out], who he comes home to at the end of the day is all that matters to me. i go to strip clubs with him but he refuses to step foot in a male strip club. i don't think that's very fair, but i like to keep the peace.

when he's home, we hang out. we drink beer and watch baseball and talk shit to each other. we get high and dare each other to do stupid shit like drink a whole bottle of tabasco sauce or go streak down the street while screaming "i have no legs".

we play games together. he owns my ass in scrabble but i kill in monopoly even when he cheats. nekkid twister and strip poker is always fun cause whether you win or lose, you're getting some.

we fight and make up and laugh about it later.
from his perspective it's like this: "that's what we do, we fight. you tell me when i'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and i tell you when you're a pain in the ass, which you are 99% of the time. i'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. you have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing." [can you tell i watch "the notebook" a lot?]

we're each other's confidant. we can always go to each other when we need advice or just wanna talk and have someone listen to us, all without fear of judgement or being looked down upon.

we love being in love. we tell each other "i love you" at least twenty times a day. we kiss and hug each other for no reason. our friends pretty much hate us for it.

love can be a very beautiful and powerful thing.
it's a rarity that should be appreciated and protected once you have it.

i'm on team fornication, but i'm madly in love with the one i'm fornicating with, so that makes it all better.
because i said so, that's why.


p.s. new template. you likey? yes? no? maybe? don't give a flying fuck?

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:21 PM | |