today was definitely better than yesterday.
i did have a little crying spell when i first woke up this morning but i felt tons better after i ate a big bowl of strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream, and allegedly half a box of blueberry poptarts with chocolate syrup.

then later, the fetus and i had a little conversation.
i know she* doesn't quite have ears yet, but i think she heard me.
i told her i'd be the bestest mommy ever and spoil her to bits and pieces if she would let me have one day without blowing chunks, thinking morbid thoughts, and crying uncontrollably.
we were on the same page for a while but after J and i went to wendy's for lunch, not so much.
i got really upset and had to cuss out everybody in that establishment for not making me a spicy chicken sammich with extra mayo and tomatoes cause the "grease was making the chicken patties taste funny".
i didn't wanna hear that shit.
i wanted food.

since the fetus was not appeased with free french fries and does not have access to guns and hand grenades, the defiant little fucker had me hovering the toilet for 27 minutes as soon as we got home.
this kid fucking hates me.

i got my prenatal vitamins today too.
what the fuck am i supposed to do with those things?
they're the size of horse tranquilizers.
i'd forgotten i even had a gag reflex until i took those fuckers.
it's just unnatural.

i have a terrible headache now.
i think it's caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol withdrawal.
maybe a little dick withdrawal too.
i've been really horny, but we never really get around to the sex cause i spend most of the day crying, sleeping, and throwing up.
sexx-ay.

i think J's secretly on drugs.
he's taking this whole pregnancy a little too well for someone who was very adamant about not having a kid now.
he hasn't shown a single negative emotion since, like, we were just speculating about me being pregnant a couple weeks ago.
i'm going out of my damn mind and he's all cool, calm, and collective, and reading a ton of baby books and articles.
it's disgusting.
i'm relieved to know that he wants this baby and he's excited about being a daddy and all that good stuff, but i want that motherfucker to cry or something.
i asked him if he was really okay with all of this and if he was scared at all and he's like "of course, but it's a good scared".
ugh.
always the fucking optimist.
i'm gonna hump him tonight.

muchos gracias to everyone who's sent congrats and advice our way. i heart y'all. to the ones who have sent me emails and i haven't replied back, it's not that i don't love you cause i do. it's just that i've cried after every email i've read, and the crying is usually followed by some vomiting which either leads to more crying which leads to J spooning me and us falling asleep. but i promise i'll write back as soon as my hormones are in check.

ew.
i'm becoming one of those awful mommy bloggers.
i think i'm gonna throw up.

*obviously, we don't know the sex yet, but i have a strong feeling it's a little girl. if she's not, i hope this kid never reads this shit.

Labels: baby business

--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:00 PM | |

i feel like such a terrible person.
the past few months all i've talked about is wanting to have a baby in the near future, but i didn't want it to be like this.
unplanned.
my body is so polluted, i know there's no way in hell this little innocent being is gonna make it to see the light of day.

i wanted this so badly and now that i have it, everything about it is just wrong.
yesterday when that doctor confirmed what we've suspected for weeks, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.
now that all the realities surrounding this pregnancy have set in, i'm miserable and guilt-ridden.
it's like i have to sit around and wait for my baby to die before s/he is even born.
i don't even want to begin to think about how devastated J will be.
i wouldn't be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with me when it's all said and done.
i should just accept the fact that i'm not meant to be happy.

the end.

Labels: baby business

--i refused to spellcheck @ 6:51 PM | |

i have two major tests tomorrow.
neither of which i've studied for.
i've become the ultimate slacker.
senioritis fa sho.
hovering over the toilet every damn five minutes isn't motivating me at all either.
i don't know why it's called "morning sickness".
it should be "bitch, you better not have anything important to do cause you're about to get really familiar with the toilet."

J's being a fucking leech.
while i absolutely love how caring and nurturing and concerned he's being, i really wish he'd stay the fuck outta my face for a few hours.
really, until now, i never knew how fucking annoying he sounds when he's breathing.
i'm just like 'grrr, why are you alive?! go away! LEAVE!'
i know it's just the hormones and if he didn't pay me any attention, i'd cry hysterically, but fo reals, i need 2 feet of space.
any closer and i just might stab your heavy-breathing ass.

as much as i'm looking forward to new changes headed our way, i'm a little agitated by it.
i've worked my ass off this past month to get my body back to the way i want it and in a few months all this sexiness is gonna be rolls, cellulite, and stretchmarks.
ugh.
what is we gon' do?
J and his acidy sperm.
that shit ate through condoms before; i guess it thought the pill was candy.

i'm so not ready for this shit.
i can't be pregnant.
i have too many fucking body image issues, among many other issues, for this shit.
i freak the fuck out when i gain one pound, how am i gonna deal with 30-40?
50?!
i'll die if it's twins.
i'm so fucking selfish.
i'm a horrible mom already.

Labels: baby business, my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:43 PM | |

i got nothing.
i'm not sure if it's writer's block or if i'm just really bored with blogging.
maybe it's a little of both.
whatever.

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 9:35 PM | |

i have another long weekend of not being alone with J to look forward.
his brother is gonna be here in a few hours.
ugh.
i love his folks and all, but i want a weekend without having people in my house and getting some quality alone time with my man.
of course, he's a douche and doesn't understand what the big deal is cause we're always together.
it's so frustrating.
if he would just attempt to see things from my perspective, i wouldn't as upset.
why are men are so stupid?
i guess my whining and pouting did make him feel a little guilty cause he bought me a big bag of hot cheetos.
and mountain dew.
and two huge toblerones.
and an 8 gig nano.
i may or may not be slightly spoiled.
fuck that.
i deserve to be spoiled.

*
to the pervs:
that little link on the sidebar that says "OMG! LET'S CYBER!"
yeah, i was just joking.
i will not send you pictures.
i will not tell you what color panties i'm wearing.
and i will not play with giney for you.
mmkay?
thanksdie.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 1:01 PM | |

not much going on.
monday, i went to court for my ticket but the officer didn't show up so it got dismissed.
i get to keep my license a little while longer.
yay for me.
uh oh for everyone else.

yesterday, i was having really bad mood swings and was not very pleasant to be around.
i got up at 5:30 in the morning crying cause it was just too damn early to be awake to work out.
i got over it though, but then i cried again on the way to campus cause i hate school.
after my first class was over, i felt tons better cause J brought me a banana nut muffin and orange juice; i'm a sucker for food.
literally and figuratively.
a few hours later i was crying again cause my main fag called and told me he was moving to LA in a few weeks with his boyfriend.
i'm not gonna have anyone to do my hair while i get drunk off sangrias anymore.
i'm pretty sure i went through several more highs and lows but i don't feel like trying to remember them.

i'm really annoyed with the dvr for not recording house and nip/tuck last night like it was supposed to.
i can't prove it, but i'm certain J had something to do with it.

a few weeks ago, i was kinda high and had the munchies and i discovered those new reese's cookies are very tasty with strawberry cream cheese.
i tried that shit today in a clear state of mind and it's fucking disgusting.
for serious.
it tastes like vomit.

i think J's mad at me cause i called his grandma a nazi.
it's his fault though.
had he stayed in bed and cuddled with me instead of talking to that old hag when she called, that whole conversation/argument would've never happened.
i'll apologize when i want some dick.
hopefully, i won't get horny anytime soon cause i hate having to apologize to him.
apologizing isn't the problem.
he is.
he will pout like a five year old until you beg him for forgiveness.
but i just flip the script and pretend i'm upset with him for not accepting my initial apology.
i'm manipulative like that.
yes, really.

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 7:28 PM | |

i think i need to stop blogging so frequently.
scratch that.
i need to not blog after J and i have a huge fight.
i always come here and say something really definitive and then the next day, i've done the exact opposite.
i never give things a chance to settle down before i sit here and start typing away.
single.
not single.
engaged.
not engaged.
engaged again.

fuck fuck fuck.
i'm so damn fickle.

currently: re-engaged.
after demoting myself to girlfriend status, the boy talked me into promoting him back to fiance.
it's the sex, man.
that's when i'm 100% vulnerable to him and he knows it; sumbitch dives right in for the kill.
fuckity fuck mcfuckster.
he makes shit so complicated when it really doesn't have to be.
he always tells me these wonderful things about how much he loves me and wants to be with me forever and dadadada; and 98% of the time, his actions back up everything he says.
but then there's that 2% where he does some extremely fucked up shit.

because i've known him for so long, i understand his logic behind it his bad decisions and i know he doesn't expect me to react the way i do, but i just can't ignore it or let it go because he thought "it wasn't that big of a deal".
i'm not a goddamn pushover.
but i'm running short on second chances.
i really hope he has his shit together.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 4:40 PM | |

mad crazy week.
i'm so glad it's over.

our sleep schedule is totally screwed up now.
sleep all day, stay up all night.
we got ridiculously drunk last night.
it was like 3am and we were outside dancing and dry humping each other.
i think someone may have called the rent-a-pigs cause i've never seen them patrolling before last night/this morning.

what's new.....
oh, yeah...we're not engaged anymore.
when J and i had our little makeup talk wednesday night, i told him the only way i would take him back was if we called off the engagement.
he insisted that he's 100% committed to me and our relationship and that i was being unfair and unreasonable by making that decision for him instead of with him, but i don't really believe it.
i don't doubt he believes it, i just don't....or maybe i won't let myself believe him.
so yeah, until he can prove to me that he's ready for that kind of commitment, i'm just his girlfriend.
that really makes me sad- being just the girlfriend.
i feel like that label lessens my importance in his life.
it's like taking a thousand steps back and half a step forward.
like everything else, we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

some of our friends from home are coming up tonight and staying for the weekend festivities.
gotta love college football...even if our school does suck.
fuck. i've gotta feed those dickfaces for three days.
i kinda like 'em so it won't be that bad.
plus, it's always fun to hear about the people we went to high school with that totally suck at life now.
it makes my innards tingle with pleasure.

have a great weekend, y'all.
i plan to.
hopefully no one will get arrested.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 4:16 PM | |

spending an entire day sleeping is a beautiful thing when you've gone 3 consecutive days without any at all.
being a held by the man you want to choke the life out of sometimes, but love more than anything, while you're catching up on your beauty rest ain't bad either.
waking up with him drooling on the back of my neck.....i could do without.
there are some things i'd just rather not share with him.

i wish life could always be this simple.
i'd be much less mentally disturbed than i am now.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 6:39 PM | |

he called.
for the bazillionth time.
and i finally answered.
i'm still mad at him but hearing his voice made me feel better.
the crying and begging was nice too.
does that make me a sadist?
fuck that.
he deserves to be crying and begging me to let him come home after the shit he did.
and the fact that i'm letting him come back here after one fucking phone call proves i have very little, if any, willpower when it comes to him.

fuck fuck fuck.
i'm so damn weak.
for love.

hmmph....
now would be a good time to go shower.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 9:08 PM | |

single.
miserable.
in the past 72 hours, i've spent maybe 3 and a half of it NOT crying.
the tunnel vision and creepy hallucinations suggest i need sleep.
my head hurts.
but not as much as my heart.

i feel like the past year and a half J and i have been back together, there's nothing i've done to make him question my love or commitment to him.
but there's shit he's done that has me feeling a lot of doubt about whether he really wants to or knows how to be in an adult relationship with me.
i'm not down with the childish and immature games he likes to play.
i'm not his fucking xbox he can turn on and off and pause and kick around whenever he feels like it.
and i can't continue to fight for something and someone that doesn't want to be fought for.
it's not fair to either of us.

hopefully, he takes this time, however long or short it may be, to figure out want he wants to do with his life and whether or not it includes me.
if not, that's fine. i've always told him i'd rather he be happy without me than miserable with me. him not being with me is fathomable.
he'll have no problem moving on.

myself, on the other hand......i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 5:25 PM | |

i think J is a sadist.
that's the only explanation i have as to why he constantly does the shit that he does to me.

i guess that makes me a masochist because in some sick way, i get some sort of gratification out of putting up with his shit.

being a single cokehead was so much less stressful and consuming than this bullshit.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:38 PM | |

the moms came up for a little visit today with J's little sister and my niece in tow.
nothing spectacular or eventful happened.
we just all lounged around the house eating and watching football.
J's mom and my mom kept pestering us about setting a wedding date and having a engagement party and everything else wedding-related.
it's beyond annoying.
but they cooked so i kept my mouth shut.

*

C...my goodness that girl is just too much. when they first got here, i wouldn't stop hugging her. i couldn't help it; i've missed my baby.
she just laughed and hugged me back to humor me.
by thousandth hug she was tired of me, so she snapped, "TIA! MOOOOOVE! I CAN'T BREATHE! GET OFF OF ME!!"

oh, and then she saw this old picture of my goddaughter i have on the refrigerator.
if looks could kill, i'd be six feet under right now.
that kid gave me the most hateful look. "who is that baby?"
i was like, "that's my goddaughter, Loo. i don't think you've met her."
that little heifer rolled her eyes at me and said "i don't wanna meet her anyway. she ugly." and walked off.
so i made her turn her little short ass around and told her not to be so mean [i'm a hypocrite, i know] and made her apologize.

her apology? fucking priceless.

"i'm sorry your goddaughter is ugly, tia. now, can i throw that picture away?"

i was floored.
i knew she was a lot like me, but not to that extent.
how do you respond to a 5 year old intentionally being malicious?
she is so gonna be a "mean girl".

*

J's sister is applying to the school J and i go to and if she gets in [and she definitely will] she wants to stay with us instead of living on campus.
when she asked me, i immediately said 'yes' but that we'd have to talk to J and their parents about it before anything was set in stone.
i wouldn't mind having her live with us but then later i started thinking about it, and i don't think that's really the best thing for her.
i actually think she'd have more freedom and be able to experience more living on campus [even though i think it sucks].
J would throw all kinds of salt in her game if she lived with us.
he's done it before and he'll do it again.
plus, he and i would have to give up having sex all over the place and i don't think i'm ready to do that just yet.

*****

tomorrow, we're going to look at a coupla condos downtown.
i'm not really looking forward to it.
i don't wanna move but i'm afraid i'm gonna like one of the places and J will convince me to move.

*

i will be extremely happy when this damn football game is over because if that motherfucker jumps up and shakes this bed one more fucking time, i'm gonna chunk this damn laptop at his head.
i'm lying.
i would never do that.
i'll just fuck him senseless.

p.s. i'm switching back to private in a coupla days.

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 9:45 PM | |

J looks so adorable when he's sleeping.
i just wanna eat him up.
i'm pretty sure his breath stinks though.

hangovers are very unpleasant.
i think i'm gonna try some of that chaser shit cause that whole chugging a gallon of water before you pass out does not work.
it just makes me pee a lot.
and i am too accident prone to be getting up every 15 minutes in the middle of the night to pee.
it's not safe.

i was just checking my stats and someone came here from a site that had my blog listed as a "bulimia blog".
i'm slightly annoyed by that tag.
i'm sure i've mentioned mia here a few times but this definitely is NOT a bulimia resource.
so, um yeah, if you're reading this expecting to get some kind of help or tricks of the trade, you are at the wrong place.
i can't even help myself; i sure as hell can't help you.

ugh. i so need to shower.
i just looked down and i see that J's splooge has crystallized onto my inner thigh.
what the hell did we do last night?
and why is my hair stuck to my forehead?

Labels: my love, so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:27 PM | |

i have tons of stuff to blog about, i just don't feel like it.
cause i'm lazy.

i had a really bad night.
J went out with his friends.
i really wanted to him to stay home with me just because i don't like having to share him with anyone else but i'm dealing with it.

anyhoos, he was gone for like two hours and had not called or texted me even once.
that's very unusual.
when we're not together we always call each other just to ease the other's mind cause we have a hard time being apart. i definitely think i struggle with it more than he does, but it's really unsettling for us to not be together.
so at first, i was really annoyed cause that's usually my first reaction to almost everything.
that's just the way it is.

then i got mad cause it was late and i felt like he was being an inconsiderate asshole by not calling me to at least tell me he was gonna be home late when he knows i lose it if i don't hear from him after a certain amount of time.
then two more hours passed.
still no word from him.
i called and his phone went straight to voicemail.
i just went into full panic mode.
if he hadn't came home when he did, i was gonna start calling every hospital nad police station in the tri-state area.

once i saw that he was okay, i was completely fine but i still smacked the shit out of him several times for making me worry.
then he told me all the shit that had happened to him while he was gone and why he couldn't call me.
i felt kinda bad cause i should have known he would've called if he could have but instead, i got upset over what turned out to be nothing.
i'm just gonna blame it on being a girl, or as he would say, being "really fucked up in the head."

i love how when he says that, he totally tries to make it seem like he's not insulting me.
it happens the same way every time.
we'll be having this really intimate moment and he'll look at me with those pretty green eyes and something like "baby, you're so incredible. you're smart, funny, beautiful and you're sexy as hell. i love you more than anything in this world. there's nothing i wouldn't do for you...but you're really fucked up in the head. you should really work on that."

i think i'd be offended if it weren't true.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:52 PM | |

the three years i've been in college, i've always had tuesday/thursday classes.
tuesdays are like mondays for me.
i fucking hate them.
even more so now cause i'm getting up at 5:30 in the morning to workout so i won't feel fat and flabby.

first class of the day is at 8:00am.
when people talk to me, i don't respond.
i just glare at them until they figure out i'm seconds away from ripping out their spleen and shoving it up their ass, back into its original place.

it usually works, but there's always that one fucker who can't take a hint.

if i'm sitting in the far back corner with my hoodie pulled over my head, i'm not in the mood for conversation.
don't ask me how my weekend was, did i read the stupid book, or if you can borrow one of my highlighters.
the answers will always be ''not long enough'', ''no'', and ''hell no, get your own shit''.
talk to me on thursday, by then i'll have been fucked senseless so it doesn't really matter what you say to me because the only thing my brain can comprehend is J's cock.

i have only four classes but i have huge gaps in between, so my ass is stuck on campus all fucking day.

by noon, i hate everyone. i hate school. i wanna go home. i'm just a big baby. the only thing that gets me through the day is J's little pep talks he gives me whenever i see him.

i haven't gone back to proofread anything i've typed but i feel like it doesn't make any sense and i'm actually getting really annoyed with the whole funky school schedule the more i blog about it. i've even stopped several times to frown and give the computer the finger.
that's just how much it aggravates me.

i think i need some more sleep.

Labels: so random, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:20 PM | |

unfortunately, this holiday weekend has come to an end.
so not cool.
i don't wanna go to sleep.
i just know i'm gonna wake up in the morning with a beer gut.
the amount of alcohol i've consumed over the past 4 days is just unbelievable.
by now, my liver is either nonfunctional or nonexistent.

i made some new enemies yesterday and today at this little pool party/cookout J and i went to.
it was awesome.
i was the hottest bitch there.
i was very vocal about it too.
and those jealous bitches hated it.
i think i may have been the cause of one breakup.
i was definitely the cause of the fights between J and several other guys. [see second half of previous post]
it's good to be me.

it's really weird to spend the night at a friend's house and have them check on you every half-hour to see if you're having sex, not because he doesn't want you doing it in his house, but because he wants to watch.
apparently, his ex-roommate took all the porn when he [the roommate] moved out a few weeks ago, so he [the friend] wanted me and J to be his new visual aid.
it was actually pretty hot.......
until i saw his o-face.
you can't un-see that shit.

i'm so not looking forward to going to school tomorrow.
i wanna stay in bed and eat twizzlers and cuddle and fuck all day.
that's the way it should be.
but noooo, i gotta be all grown-up like and get up at 5:30 am and come home around 10:00pm.
i'm gonna miss all of my favorite shows and i'll get maybe one little quickie in, if i'm lucky.
it's not fair.
college is so overrated.

hmmmph....i still got a coupla hours before it's time to call it a night.....

i got a friction addiction.

p.s. isn't it weird how people are really sad the crocodile hunter died even though it happened the way you totally would've expected it to?

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 9:03 PM | |

i'm so stoked.
these allergies are a bitch though.

this morning i woke up with J spooning me and holding my hands. the exact same way we fell asleep. and i thought 'awww, he's so freakin adorable. i wuv him.' and then it made me sad. i thought, if he moves out, we won't have mornings like these anymore, so i woke him up and started bawling like a baby.
that whole crying, sniffling, and talking at the same time?
yeah, it's totally counterproductive.

i really don't know how J deals with me sometimes. i'm a fucking lunatic. i'm starting to think that therapist wasn't completely off-base when she suggested i had BPD. my hi's' and lo's alternate too quickly for it not to be a little true.

but anyhoos, we talked about it and to my surprise and delight, us not living together was never even crossed his mind, nor would he have considered it. he just wanted to check out a few places downtown and if i didn't like any of them, that was it. he was totally fine with us staying where we are. i felt so much better after hearing that.
i totally put out.

i'm so melodramatic sometimes.
it's definitely not intentional though. i think because he's the only person who can really get a reaction out of me, that when it does happen, it's amplified a bit more than it should be. if i could control it, i would because i don't really like being as overemotional and -reactive as i am.
it's exhausting.


i definitely need to stay away from liquor for a while.
according to J, my behavior has gotten a little out of hand over the past few weeks.
i disagree but i'm all about keeping the peace 'round here, so i'll try EVEN THOUGH IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON AND WE DRINK EVERY WEEKEND!

he can act the exact same way as i do, but when i do it, i'm crazy; when he does it, there's nothing even slightly irrational or illogical about it.

it's no secret that i have a major problem with females being all up in his face. if you possess 2 X chromosomes and you're not J's mom or sister, you need to be at least 2 feet away from him at all times. if not, there's a 99% chance i will cuss you out and rip out those janky ass extensions. J says it's because i'm possessive and jealous but that's just how i roll.

now, if he sees some guy even breathe in my direction, he's ready to fight. minus the extension removal, he reacts the same way i do.
possessive and jealous?
of course not. that's just his way of "protecting" me.

and i'm like, from what? gingivitis? shit, i carry listerine pocket strips and altoids with me at all times; bad breath, teeth, and gums are not a problem for me.

but whatever, it's not even worth fighting over cause that's just some shit that's never gonna change no matter how many times we think or say we will.
oh wells.


i'm so ready for some barbecue.

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 3:18 PM | |

this week has been hella crazy and it's not even over yet.

for the first half of the week, i was having erratic mood swings. seriously, jekyll and hyde.
i ran over someone's cat. poor kitty.
i got another stupid speeding ticket so my license is probably suspended. that sucks.
and i got arrested last night.


i think the mood swings came from me being extremely exhausted from school, working out, and getting my period for the first time in like 3 months. one minute i was crying cause i couldn't get my lighter to work, and the next i was laughing hysterically at some commercial that had a dog sticking its ass out of a car window. yeah, fun.

*

i don't know where the fuck that cat came from, but i do know it's dead. and i killed it. i am forever scarred. not from the sound of the poor little kitty's bones being crushed under my tires, but from the howling sounds that thing made when i ran over it. that shit scurred the fuck outta me. yes, i cried.

*

fuck that ticket. i had to pee and i had to get home quick, fast, and in a hurry to do so. i don't care about speed limits when i gotta go. i think the reason i got the ticket was because i cussed at the officer. he was taking his precious time writing shit down so i snapped at him and was like "GIMME MY DAMN TICKET SO I CAN GO!"

*

i got arrested for being a belligerent drunk. technically, it wasn't my fault cause it never would've happened had i not been fucked with by thats imple bitch.

J and i were at a nonimportant person's house last night. i was bored so i started wandering around the house checking out the rooms. one particular room had a balcony. i went to check out the view [shitty] and i saw J and a coupla other guys standing outside talking, so i yelled out J's name a few times and told him i was ready to go. then this bitch next door comes out onto her balcony and starts yelling at me to shut the fuck up.

so i told her to shut the fuck up and not to make me come over there and whoop her ass. she told me to shut the fuck up again and said she would whoop my ass.

that's when my nigga switch flipped on.

i was at her doorstep in .03 seconds banging on her door and ringing the doorbell, but her punk ass wouldn't come out.

i couldn't just let her get away with talking all that shit, so i went to the end of her driveway and pulled her garbage can up to the door, pulled three bags out of that bitch and threw garbage all over the front yard and her door. and then i went back over to J's car. i needed my hand sanitizer. there were nasty germs in that thing.

so about ten minutes pass, J and his little friends are still laughing at me for being stupid and some officer drives up.

Officer: Hey, did y'all see or hear anything happening over here?
Boys: Nah, we didn't see anything.
Officer: Well, did ya hear anything?
Boys: Nah, we didn't hear anything.
Me: Well, I heard a lil somethin, but it wasn't much. How you doin' occifer? [hey, i was drunk.]

he drove off and went over to that little bitch's house. they were talking their jibber jabber and i saw that bitch point over in our direction. so i yelled out "BITCH DON'T BE POINTING OVER HERE!"

i should not have done that.

officer not-so-friendly came back over to where i was and started asking me did i throw trash on her lawn. i was like "i didn't do shit. tell that dirty hoe to come in my face if she's got something to say instead of hiding in her little stank ass house."

i guess the cop knew i was drunk so he asked me again if i threw trash on her lawn. i was like "did you not hear me the first time? am i on candid camera or somethin? clean out your damn ears. I DIDN'T DO SHIT!"

i should not have done that either cause before i knew it, that sumbitch had slammed my ass on the hood of somebody's car, cuffed my ass, told me i was under arrest for disorderly conduct, and threw me in the back of his car.

J got pissed and started going off on the cop but his little friends had him restrained so he didn't get arrested. but my dumb ass was in the back of the car still talking shit about the cop and that bitch who called him. i should've pulled the race card.

i never got booked though. i just sat in an empty cell for a few hours until i sobered up. J's punk ass picked me up and started talking shit about me not knowing when to shut up. and? bitch, i'm crunk.

and then we went home and fucked.
that man tore my ass up.
i think my uterus was fractured in the process.
'twas lovely.


so, how you doin'?

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 6:55 PM | |