i have tons of stuff to blog about, i just don't feel like it.
cause i'm lazy.

i had a really bad night.
J went out with his friends.
i really wanted to him to stay home with me just because i don't like having to share him with anyone else but i'm dealing with it.

anyhoos, he was gone for like two hours and had not called or texted me even once.
that's very unusual.
when we're not together we always call each other just to ease the other's mind cause we have a hard time being apart. i definitely think i struggle with it more than he does, but it's really unsettling for us to not be together.
so at first, i was really annoyed cause that's usually my first reaction to almost everything.
that's just the way it is.

then i got mad cause it was late and i felt like he was being an inconsiderate asshole by not calling me to at least tell me he was gonna be home late when he knows i lose it if i don't hear from him after a certain amount of time.
then two more hours passed.
still no word from him.
i called and his phone went straight to voicemail.
i just went into full panic mode.
if he hadn't came home when he did, i was gonna start calling every hospital nad police station in the tri-state area.

once i saw that he was okay, i was completely fine but i still smacked the shit out of him several times for making me worry.
then he told me all the shit that had happened to him while he was gone and why he couldn't call me.
i felt kinda bad cause i should have known he would've called if he could have but instead, i got upset over what turned out to be nothing.
i'm just gonna blame it on being a girl, or as he would say, being "really fucked up in the head."

i love how when he says that, he totally tries to make it seem like he's not insulting me.
it happens the same way every time.
we'll be having this really intimate moment and he'll look at me with those pretty green eyes and something like "baby, you're so incredible. you're smart, funny, beautiful and you're sexy as hell. i love you more than anything in this world. there's nothing i wouldn't do for you...but you're really fucked up in the head. you should really work on that."

i think i'd be offended if it weren't true.

Labels: my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:52 PM | |