why is it that whenever i plan a weekend to do important stuff, i never actually do it?
saturday, i was supposed to:
wake up early for some kinky, morning sex
make a big healthy breakfast for me and baby girl, and maybe J
go get paint for baby girl's room
get baby girl's room clean and shiny and doggy-toy free
take a nap
start and finish paper #1
eat a bag of ranch doritos and hot sauce while watching the tennessee/south carolina game,
throw up [doritos make me sick for some reason]
eat ice cream [cause baby girl loves the ice cream]
take another nap
sex again
start on paper #2
and finally crash.
what i did:
woke up at 7am, planned to have sex but was too annoyed with J's drunk ass poking me in the stomach with his morning wood, so i smacked the shit out of him and pretended to be asleep when he woke up cause i'm mature like that
laid in bed for about an hour listening to baby girl swish around and checking her little heart rate
bitched at J for being hungover and poking my baby with his peen
made him go to chick-fil-a for a chicken biscuit and mrs. winner's for a super cinnamon swirl and a gallon of sweet tea.
ate greasy, artery clogging, but tasty breakfast
farted
threw up
went to sleep for two hours
showered
kicked the shit out of that stupid dog for chewing up my ear buds.
played some panic! for baby girl
cried for an hour cause i'm fat and have to wear my ''big bertha'' jeans now
got some pity sex
had another nap
woke up and ate four slices of meat lovers pizza, a big bag spicy doritos with my homemade salsa and sour cream, and canned pineapples with whipped cream
yelled "FUCK STEVE SPURRIER!!" at the tv a few times
threw up again [it's the doriots, man]
cried cause i hate the smell of vomit
made J give me a backrub
cried cause my boobs were leaking again
smacked the shit out of J for having bionic sperm and knocking me up
remembered i was supposed to go to the hysterectomy conference for class, but only after it had already ended
went to walmart for strawberries and blueberries; bought a pumpkin and a carving kit
ate blueberries and strawberries and attempted to carve the pumpkin, but threw up yet again cause baby girl does not like the smell of pumpkin innards
told J to go fuck himself cause he smacked my ass and called me "hot mama"
had some slightly angry sex
crashed for the night
*
today, i was supposed to spend all day working on all 3 papers since i didn't do it yesterday
what i did:
spent pretty much all day in bed eating
listening to baby girl wiggle around
napping
and watching football
if i don't graduate in december, this weekend of non-productivity is why.
*
ugh.
i could spend the next few hours bs-ing my way through paper #1, but i'd rather lay in bed and watch those hostile bitches on the flavor of love reunion show.
i could do them all tomorrow cause i never do anything on mondays, except from 11:30-12:30 when i cannot be disturbed cause the young and the restless is on.
******
i get a lot of hits from people googling for images of vaseline, vanity 6, and some lingerie from frederick's.
i don't like it.
and i wish those assholes would stop it.
what the fuck are you googling vaseline for anyway?
that reminds me, i fucking hate tyra banks for giving away free vaseline on her show and acting like it was a big fucking deal.
i hate that bitch.
fuck tyra.
fuck tyra.
FUCK HER.
and somebody needs to tell that bitch to stop wearing sleeveless shirts cause i'm sick of looking at her armpit vagina.
******
i also hate all of those soon-to-be mommy books.
the 4th month of pregnancy is not the easiest.
i am just as unstable now as i was 6 weeks ago.
goddamn liars.
******
i heart robin thicke.
******
why hasn't paris hilton been shot dead yet?
seriously.
Labels: baby business
--i refused to spellcheck @ 7:05 PM |
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