howdy, kids.
what a week it's been.
i'm feeling a little better now, thank you very much.

i have these moments with J when i'm just like, 'what the fuck am i doing with this man?'

friday was definitely one of them.
it's as if he lacks common sense.
with my family going away for thanksgiving and the current situation with J's family, i opted to just stay home with my big belly and the dog. given the circumstances, i thought J would stay home with me and we'd just have our own little thanksgiving festivities here.

of course, that thought never entered his mind; he wanted me to come to his folks' place and be surrounded by all that negativity just to be with him. if i weren't pregnant, i probably would. i've done it many times before. but that was then-- no baby or bigot father was in the picture.

so, we ended up having a nasty argument about why J is always wanting me to make compromises when it comes to his family and why he doesn't think of me as family--just the girl he's known for over 10 years who just happens to be pregnant with his child now.

excluding his mom, sister, and brother, there is no one in his family who even pretends to like me. i'm a little fucked up in the head but i've been a damn good girlfriend and fiance to J; but they can't get past the fact that i'm not white.

with my family, it's the exact opposite. everyone fucking loves him. if i'm visiting and he's not with me, the first thing out of their mouths is "where's J? is he coming over?"
it's really disgusting.

i'm too fucking emotional to deal with his family and their bullshit. and his whole logic is 'as long as you're with me, it doesn't matter what they say.' before baby girl? sure. i'll admit i used to get off on their hostility towards me. but now, everything is different. i'm not subjecting my baby to their negativity. they can kiss my freshly showered and moisturized ass.

so, either J finally got my point or he was just sick of me crying and smacking him or a little bit of both. whatever it was, it looks like we'll be spending the holiday here. that should make me happy, but i know that's not what he really wants to do.

the makeup sex was good though.

***

yesterday, we went to the UT/Vandy game. i wasn't gonna go but with it being the last game of the season for us, i did.
yays for school spirit.

we sorta kinda missed the first quarter cause i was in the closet crying cause i don't have any cute clothes that fit my fat ass anymore. i seem to do that a lot. but we made it.
i was pissed most of the game because everytime people cheered and yelled, it scared baby girl. so i was ready to take out the entire student section. and J being the asshole he is, didn't wanna leave even though the fucking crowd was terrorizing his child. but he did come up with the genius idea to wrap his coat around my belly to muffle the noises.

maybe he is good for something besides sex and getting me food at 2 in the morning.

after the game, we went to the mall cause i need new clothes. again. my intentions were to get non-maternity clothes cause i have this image on my head of mom jeans and maternity clothes being pretty much the same in terms of atrocity. but then i discovered this store.

OMFG! CUTE MATERNITY CLOTHES!!!!!!!

i shop at that mall all the fucking time. how did i not know this store existed? especially when it has my name in it! i had like 7 orgasms in the store. oh, how i heart shopping. my naughty bits are getting tingly just thinking about it.

after spending entirely too much money in that sore, we went to janie and jack because i could no longer resist my need to buy baby clothes. they pretty much have only fall and winter stuff, but sometimes it's pretty cool here in march and april. maybe she'll get to wear some of the stuff i bought at least once. she'll be like my little baby doll i get to play dress-up with.

we were gonna go have dinner and go see a movie but i was too pooped from all the orgasmic shopping. so, we ordered in and watched "meet the parents", "meet the fockers", and "zoolander" cause i'm secretly in love with funny man ben stiller.

oh, J bought me some lingerie which i can surprisingly fit my lard ass in. but it's not like i ever keep that shit on for too long, so it really didn't matter.

as long as i can still have sex, all is well in my little world.

***

currently: it's cold outside. perfect fall weather for cuddling and watching football. unfortunately, J is in the living room working on his presentation with some people from class. one of those guys is really cute. and he smells good. but i'm an alpha female so i do not like the girl in the group. ESPECIALLY since she turned her pig nose up at me when i offered her some of my homemade taquitos and salsa. everyone loves my food! J told me she sucks at presenting so i'm gonna make her cry when i critique their presentation. i oughtta mace that bitch when i yell "CHEAT OUT!" at her.

i think i'm gonna make some chili for dinner.

Labels: baby business, my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 3:52 PM | |