that's pretty much been my week so far.
i'm stressed and exhausted from finals, which aren't even over yet.
i've pretty much given up on J's family.
my baby girl gave me a scare last night/this morning.

*****

the shit with finals is expected.
i don't see how anyone can not be stressed and worried about that shit.
especially, during your last semester.

*

J's family can just go to hell.
i'm still not over the fallout with his dad, but i thought at least his mom was on my side.
but as you all know, i don't get paid to think.

yesterday, he had her on speaker phone while they were talking about holiday plans, but she didn't know i was listening.
anyhoos, he told her we hadn't really discussed what we're doing [which we haven't] but we may just end up doing our little christmas thing here instead of having to deal with the family drama [his idea, not mine. that was my first time hearing about it].

i guess she was upset about him not being home for thanksgiving even though he spent time with them a couple days before thanksgiving.
i suppose that compromise wasn't good enough for her.
she went on to say something like "is she trying to keep you away from your family now that she's having that baby? you let her know there is no way in hell that is going to happen. i'm not having that."
J got upset and told her she was completely off-base and out of line, which surprised me with him being a momma's boy and all.

but i'm like, 'what the fuck did i do to these people to make them think all of these horrible things about me?'
i've always treated them with respect and loved them as if they were my own blood-family.
they have to know how much i love their son and that i would never do anything to intentionally sabotage the relationship they have.
i just don't get it.
well, i know with his dad it's just about him not wanting a mixed kid in their family, even though he won't come right out and say it.
with his mom, i don't know what the fuck her problem is.
one minute she's telling me how happy she is about the baby and that i've always been a part of their family.
now, she's talking about me like i'm some fucking whore trying to ruin her little picture-perfect family.
i feel so deceived and betrayed by those people.
i'm so disgusted with them.

*

dealing with all this new stress, i started cramping very badly and spotting a little, last night.
i grabbed the heart monitor to listen to baby girl's heartbeat and i couldn't find it for almost three minutes.
that had to have been the scariest three minutes of my life.
when i finally did, it was only 95-100 bpm.
i freaked the fuck out because she's been pretty consistent at 120-130 bpm since i've been able to check it.
so, i yelled at J, who was sleeping at the time, and he drove like a bat out of hell to get us to the hospital.
he almost killed us a couple of times before we got there.
when we did get there, he cussed everybody out because they weren't moving fast enough.

the doctor checked us out and everything was fine except my blood pressure.
i got an ultrasound and the doctor said the way she was positioned was more than likely the reason i couldn't get an accurate reading from the monitor, but my current stress level is why i was cramping a spotting.
i was relieved that she's okay, but the cramping and spotting is just another thing for me to worry about.
so, he just monitored my bp and baby girl's heart for an hour and a half and sent us on our way since i had an appointment with my ob/gyn today.

I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH!

she wasn't the slimey cunt she usually is, but i still don't like her.
i'm gonna have to have check-ups every two weeks instead of four, now.
she wants me to stop stressing over what she calls "little things", "cool it with all the sex", and to be on bed rest until my next visit.
oh, and i need to lay off the taco bell.

but baby girl loves the taco bell!
and i love the sex.


we'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

p.s. haloscan hates me and won't let me comment.

Labels: baby business

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:30 PM | |