despite all the goodies i've gotten today, i'm not a very happy birthday girl.


--my mentor threw me a mini-surprise birthday/graduation/baby shower thingamajig.
it was really nice.
usually if i get a call to come to campus on a friday, it's because one of the other researchers i work with has fucked up something.
so when i got a call this morning to be there, i was not a happy camper.
i'm pretty sure i cussed out someone, but by then i was mad at the world so i'd have went off on anyone.
but i got a party!
yays.
some of the faculty in the department and a few of the grad students/research assistants actually love me.
they fed me cake and bought me baby girl stuff.
i guess i should probably take back a few of the nasty things i've said and thought about those bitches.

--my mommy sent me candles, silk sheets, silk pajamas, and cocoa butter.
i loves it.
fyi: it's not very smart to wear silk pj's after you've slathered cocoa butter all over your mid-section because you think it prevents stretch marks AND/OR if have silk sheets on the bed and like to pretend it's a water slide.
it's not gonna be a pretty situation.

--J's mom sent me a pink and black taliban afghan she made for baby girl. whatever.

--a couple of my friends bought me a breast pump and a really ugly maternity bra sorta kinda as a gag gift. i cried. it's so depressing.

--i thought my dad would call me to at least wish me a happy birthday if nothing else, but this is why i don't get paid to think.
getting access to my trust fund is pretty sweet nonetheless.

--and then there's J.
you know that little saying "if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is"?
yeah, that's pretty much the only way i can describe him at this point.

okay, hinder's "lips of an angel" is not a ring tone you should assign to your ex-girlfriend's phone number.
if you do, it's best not to have your [ex-]fiance/mother of your unborn child find out about it the night before her birthday when you're in the middle of having sex.

i never had a problem with him talking to her, until that time she called and hung up when i answered.
even after that bullshit, i didn't really care.
but that song of all the fucking ring tones he has on that stupid phone, he chose that one as her ring.
his ex-girlfriend


man, fuck him and her.
they can have each other.

i'm gonna go buy a christmas tree and decorate as much of this place i can.
cry.
i'll probably eat the rest of my birthday cake and ice cream.
cry.
i'll definitely listen to my baby girl wiggle around, tell her how much i fucking hate her daddy and how his conniving ass doesn't deserve us, and cry.
maybe i'll talk to him, but only to tell him to go fuck himself because at this particular moment in time there's really nothing he could say to me to make me not think he's either cheating or planning to.
i'm pretty sure there will be some more crying.

happy birthday to me.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 6:10 PM | |