hi there, kiddies.

sorry for lack of update-age.
i've been a busy girl.
i've been celebrating and shit.
i'm supposed to be on bed rest, but fuck.
i just graduated.
i had to party up.
i'm pretty sure i'm not supposed to be having sex but i deserve some dick.
once a day can't be that bad.
can it?

none of what i'm writing makes sense.
it's because i just woke up.
my sleep schedule is all fucked up now.
instead of being in bed by 11pm and up at 6am, i'm going to bed at 6 or 7am and sleeping all fucking day.
i'm a horrible mom.

being pregnant is really crazy.
i don't have the words to describe it.
as happy as i am about everything, all i wanna do is curl up in a corner and cry until there's nothing left.
i'm so fucking terrified of every bad thing that could possibly happen to me and/or her will happen.
i'm afraid something's gonna be wrong with her when she's born.
i'm scared i'm gonna do something wrong or not be there when she needs me.
everyone keeps telling me not to worry about that shit but it's really hard not to when you're ALWAYS aware of the life inside you is depending on you to not fuck up.
even then, if i do everything right, there's still a chance of something bad happening to her.

i need to go back to bed.

Labels: so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 2:04 PM | |