it's only wednesday.
i'm so fucking exhausted from the past several days.
baby girl does a wonderful job of making me as uncomfortable as possible when i'm mad at J. if she only knew the shit he's put me through.

i just thought of something: this blog is private. y'all are the "chosen ones" and already know his name. why am i still abbreviating this shit?

anyhoos, that asshat and i made up early tuesday morning. part of the reason i finally gave him and talked to him was because i love him and i'm willing to do whatever it takes for our relationship to work. i need him more than ever, now. but the other part was because i really wanted to fuck and go to sleep. i'd been up since 8 am monday morning with only about 4 hours of sleep the night before and about 5 hours the previous night.

we had some great makeup sex but i didn't get much sleep after it was over because Jay felt like he needed to bear hug and spoon me and caress my belly for FOUR GODDAMN HOURS to make up for the 3 days i refused to let him touch me and feel baby girl's kicks. ugh. i was so fucking happy he had to leave and go to class. breathing all on my neck. that shit ain't cute no more.

so, yesterday was spent catching up on sleep. i thought i'd be well-rested and rejuvenated by the time he got home, but that didn't really happen. he was tired and i was still tired so we slept until 11:30pm so we were up all night again. at least it wasn't because we were fighting. it wouldn't have been as bad if i didn't have a doctor's appointment at 8:30 this morning and the childbirth class at 11.

i fucking hate my ob/gyn. she's such a dry cunt. 90% of the time i'm there, i get bad news and i leave there in tears because i'm scared for my baby or pissed because she's so fucking unpleasant or both. i know everything isn't gonna be roses but her attitude towards me makes everything a thousand times worse. i don't know if she's just like this with me or all her patients but she's not friendly or comforting or anything. just terrible tammy. and you'd think when you're getting a "nonstress test" you wouldn't be stressed but that bitch makes damn sure you are.
i really wanna switch to another doctor but i don't know if i should since we're so close to my due date. plus, i'd rather not have a new person touching and looking around my naughty bits.

moving on...
childbirth class....i didn't like it primarily because i went in feeling like i knew what to expect from labor and delivery and all that jazz and the class would just keep everything fresh, but i walked out feeling really stupid and unprepared for everything. the entire time Jay had that stupid confused look on his face and i had to sit on my hands just to keep from smacking the shit our of him. and this was just the first class. i don't think i wanna go through that for 5 more weeks. i'll go next week but if i feel the same way, those bitches better be prepared for a showdown cause i'm leaving but not without my $150.

i'm so fucking sleepy but i'm trying to stay awake at least until 8 or 9 so that i can be back on a somewhat regular sleep schedule. i wanna catch american idol since i missed it last night, but from what i've been told i didn't really miss much because it sucked monkey nuts. is that shit on youtube yet? i would take a 30 minute nap but whenever i tell Jay to wake me up at specific times, he doesn't do it because i was "so tired and looked really cute".
idiot.

i really want some pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and mayonnaise. oooh! and oreos with some crunchy peanut butter. and sleep.

we have really stupid weather. just the other day it was 70 freakin degrees. then yesterday it was like 30 and the same today. stop warming the globe, people! y'all are fucking up my winter!

yeah, that's all i got. i need a nap.

Labels: baby business, my love

--i refused to spellcheck @ 5:33 PM | |