....for Jay and i to stop having sex.
that's gonna be difficult since we're both nymphomaniacs.
i really dislike that word, 'nymphomaniac'.
i prefer 'hypersexual'.

the more my body continues to change, the less comfortable i feel in my own skin.
my sexy is gone.
i'm sick of always being on top.
the sex doesn't really alleviate the back pain.
and i'm really sick of Jay squeezing my tits.

oral is still an option though.
cause that boy has talent.
FO REALS.
i'll still blow him.
i like to give just as much as i receive.
i'm nice like that.

i'm lying.
the feelings i have regarding my sexiness, or lack thereof are true, but i'm still having sex until i'm told otherwise by a doctor.
and i really do wish he would stop squeezing my tits.
that shit hurts.

speaking of my tits, i was looking at myself all nekkid in the mirror, evaluating my situation earlier today, and realized i'm gonna have to get a boob job after breastfeeding.
not implants, but definitely a lift.
i'd rather not have saggy tits after all the baby business is done with.
depending on how the weight loss goes, there will probably be a tummy tuck in order.
i don't want my stomach looking like fried oatmeal.
yays! for more body image issues. /end sarcasm.

i took a crap today and it looked like dog food.
puppy chow.
it was kinda cool.
probably TMI but are you really shocked that i would write about my fecal matter?
i'm almost positive i've written worse things.

does anybody have any good remedies for pregnancy-related insomnia?
i'm so tired but i can never fall asleep before 4am, i sleep only 4 0r 5 hours, and take only 2 or 3 20 minute naps during the day.
nothing i've tried has worked.
-the full body massages from Jay don't help. they're quite lovely. i even get happy endings. but i still lie awake in bed for hours when it's over.
-baths w/ lavender oil doesn't help. i smell really nice though.
-yoga doesn't do anything but make me gassy.
-the only exception is taking the benadryl, but i don't want to make that a regular habit just to get some sleep.

i wonder if my serotonin levels are low.
it would explain the depression and disruption in my sleep pattern.
one would think with having battled with depression due to low serotonin for years AND having a degree in psych/child studies i'd have thought of this right away.
oh wells.
better later than never, right?
so, i should probably add sliced turkey breast and bananas to the grocery list.

there are some midgets on tv doing an infomercial about real estate entrepreneurship or something.
that reminds me of this one time Jay and i were drunk downtown somewhere and we saw a midget.
it was hilarious.
not because the guy was a midget but because Jay and i are idiots.

Me: *gasps & points* "LOOK! IT'S A MIDGET!" [fuck you. it was the first time i saw a midget and i was drunk.]

Jay: "And he's not just a midget. He's a MEXICAN MIDGET! I didn't even know Mexicans made midgets.

Me: "Mexicans make midgets. That's alliteration."

Jay: *gasps* "YOU CAN READ!"

Me: *smacks Jay* "That's 'literacy', dumbass."

yep, a match made in idiocy.

Labels: baby business, my love, so random, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:43 AM | |