my day actually started off really great. i got some morning nookie and had myself a big bowl of strawberries and blueberries with whipped cream before my checkup with the nuDoc. did you know they can tell when you've just had sex? i don't like him all up in my business like that. anyhoos, baby girl is still smaller than what she should be.

baby stats: she's just now over 3 pounds. she was about 2.5 at the end of december. but she's still growing at a nice steady rate, so he told me i really shouldn't worry about it. i may be a little farther along so he moved my due date up a week. or is it back a week? it was march 27th, now it's the 21st. i guess it's a good thing since that's one less week i have to waddle around, i just don't want to have her prematurely and her little stubborn needs to turn before her highly anticipated arrival. as usual, she was adorable as ever on the sonogram sucking on her little thumb and waving. and it looks like she's gonna have a head full of hair. i hope she doesn't have issues with her hair like i do.
since she was awake, Jay talked to her and she actually moved from one side to get closer to the sound of voice. i'm a little jealous. i cried because it was so sweet but i'm still jealous. she does whatever he wants but gets an attitude when i ask her to stop punching me in the gut. ooh, i wonder if he talks to her through my giney if she'll turn.
mommy stats: my blood pressure is a little high. and i'm fat. all the weight isn't really distributed evenly so i'm supposed to be on "light bed rest" for the remainder of my pregnancy so my back doesn't get any worse and i don't break a hip. psh. bed rest and i don't really work well together. ooh! nuDoc recommended bi-weekly back massages but my stupid insurance probably won't pay for it.

let's see....after the checkup we went to lunch at the cheesecake factory. that jambalaya pasta gave me the worst heartburn. i really need to stop eating spicy foods. i stole one of Jay's avocado egg rolls when he wasn't looking. it tasted like shit so i had to put it back on his plate when he wasn't looking. when he noticed the half-eaten one he got this really stupid look on his face.
him: did you eat my egg roll?
me: "you know eggs give me gas."
him: "hmmph....."
me: "i like your face."
him: "i like your face."
me: "i want cheesecake."
him: "i think you ate my eggroll."
me: "i think you're stupid."
him: "i think you're an asshole."
me: "lick it, bitch."
him: "you're ridiculous."
me: "i know."

that's how we roll.

after that, we came home for a nap and pretty much spent the rest of the afternoon doing a whole lotta nothin.

fast forward to around 9pm when one of his friends called and asked him to give him a jump. no problem. we drove out, gave him a jump and followed him back to his house just to make sure he made it home safely. we went up to shoot the shit and the boys went back out to look at the kid's truck. i stayed inside since it was cold and some other folks had come over and i was in a socializing mood. then the kid girlfriend comes over.

she doesn't like me because i called her out on being a fake bitch like two fucking years ago. i don't really don't care though. she's a fucking nobody, but she's been holding a grudge ever since. whatever.

i was sitting on this bar stool talking to two other people and she stands like a foot away from me and starts talking obscenely loud on her cellphone. i asked very nicely for her to either move or lower her voice. she looked at me and rolled her eyes and kept on talking loudly. i turned back around and she goes "you got a problem?" and i was like "hell yeah. you're standing right behind me cackling like a fucking hyena. you need to use your inside voice or move the fuck away from me." she starts yelling and making a complete ass out of herself.

pre-baby business i would've just knocked the fuck out of her and been done with it, but i decided to just go outside and wait for Jay. as i'm walking out the door she's still talking shit. by now, i'm pissed but i'm letting it go because if i fight her, i'm either going to jail for killing her or i'm gonna be in the hospital because i know that dirty whore would try to hit me in my stomach and hurt my baby.

so, i'm standing outside with a couple other people, waiting for Jay, and we're talking about how ridiculous that bitch is being. she come out and shoulder checks me while mumbling "pregnant bitch" under her breath as she walks past me.

i don't do that passive aggressive shit. so i told her if she's feeling so goddamn froggy to jump. she said something like "i'll knock that baby out of your ass." when she said that shit, i snapped and knocked the shit out of her with my purse [which just so happened to have my fetal heart monitor and a big jar of vaseline in it]. when she fell to the ground, i hopped on top of her and started punching her. my ring fucked her face up and i ripped out her weave and some of her real hair when Jay pulled me off of her.

AND THE BITCH WAS STILL TALKING SHIT!

you just got your ass whooped. your face is bloody and you've got a big ass chunk of hair missing. why are you still talking? move on!

then, Jay was yelling at me about how stupid that was and i should know better and some other shit i didn't feel like hearing.

it wasn't my fault. that was self defense. bitch was in my face talking shit. i felt threatened so i beat her ass. and she knew exactly what she was doing. she's had plenty of chances to get at me but she chose to wait until i'm 8 fucking months pregnant to get ballsy and want to show her ass because she thought i wouldn't fight her and she could whoop MY ass. how fucking disgusting is that? if she hadn't said anything about my baby, i would've just walked it off and let her run off at the mouth. but she did, so now she's walking around looking like the crypt keeper.

i was pretty shaken up after everything happened because i didn't feel zoe move around AT ALL the whole drive home and she's always active at night. after we got home and i calmed down a bit, she was at it again, but not as usual. it was like she was checking to make sure it was safe to move around. her little heart rate was up, but it went back to normal as i relaxed more, which i'm so happy for.

i feel really bad and disappointed with myself because it could've been so much worse than it was and it would've been my fault because i don't know how to walk away from confrontation. i'm 21 and still walk around fighting like a fucking kid when i've got my own to worry about. i don't know how i could let someone like that imbecile push me over the edge like that. [insert heavy sigh here]

Jay's still really worried about me and baby girl so he made me go to campus and stay with him all day while he was taking tests. afterwards we walked over to the ER so i could get checked out. baby girl is fine but my blood pressure is still high so i've gotta take it easy for a while. he's purposely making me feel worse about it. i know how childish and irresponsible it was, i don't need him or anyone else telling me that every five minutes.

kiss my ass.

Labels: baby business, my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 4:33 PM | |