today was a good day. i went to the gym for the first time since i don't know when, and worked out for 3 whole hours. it wasn't too strenuous because things down yonder haven't fully healed yet; but it was still a good workout. i had my purdy little ipod full-blast and walked 3 miles on the treadmill, 500 sit-ups, and some upper body stuff.
i'm still feeling good but i know i'm gonna pay for that shit tomorrow. my legs are starting to tingle now. at first, i really didn't wanna go because i just knew when i left the house, i'd run into someone i know and they'd ask me about the baby and ruin my day, but no one bothered me. so, i'm good.

i've lost almost 15 pounds already, but i've got about 30 more to go. and the pudge. i don't like the pudge. the plan is to be at least down to a size 4 by Jay's graduation. maybe then we'll have sex cause i don't plan on putting out anytime soon.

OH! yesterday, Jay and i went to see this counselor that one of the doctors from the hospital referred me to. now, i'm very finicky about counselors/therapists. it takes a few intakes with different people before i actually find one i'm comfortable with. Jay used to give me hell about that; he said i was just being difficult and there was no reason for me to go through as many therapists as i have. but now he knows what that shit is like.

this bitch had to be Freud's mom or something. she was old as dust. for serious. and Jay has issues with old people-- he doesn't like them. i don't know why. i've known him for nearly 15 years and all i know is that it has something to do with one of his granddad's friends yelling at him when he was younger, but i don't know the whole story.
she was just so annoying. after answer we gave her, she'd go "mmhmmm, mmmkay" in that old lady voice of hers. she had her little glasses sitting on the tip of her nose. THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF WEARING GLASSES!!! you can't see if the damn things aren't on your face properly!

what irked me the most was the nose picking. she wasn't even trying to hide it, just digging away and wiping it on her old lady skirt.

needless to say, we're not going back. he and i agree as long as the line of communication between the two of us stays open, we can manage on our own.

the would-be nursery is now a big question mark. i'm not really sure what i want to do with it. initially, i just wanted to pack everything up and donate it to the goodwill and salvation army. but when it was actually time to take everything away, i couldn't let it go. it's all my little girl's stuff. this past christmas i bought her a little play gym as one of her gifts for next christmas.
i felt like people would be benefiting from my loss and i didn't want them to. i mean, i know there's stuff people could use, but i'd rather just buy stuff for the purpose of donating it, rather than give my baby's stuff away. it just doesn't feel right to give it all away now. so, everything is in big tupperware bins just sitting in the nursery. Jay moved the furniture into the attic, but all the wall decor is still up. i think for now we'll probably just leave it as is until we both feel it's okay to paint over it and move everything out. i don't know.

i know tomorrow i'm gonna do nothing but stay in bed and make Jay be my bitch.

Labels: baby business, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 5:30 PM | |