if it were physically possible, i'd throw a tantrum right now. i'm getting very frustrated with this waiting game.oh, the trickery and deception. after losing my mucus plug and these braxton hicks contractions, i thought i'd be in the hospital cussing out everyone in the maternity ward and having my baby girl. that hasn't happened, y'all!!!

Jay had the audacity to grope me and imply he wanted sex while i was making dinner last night, and again while we were in bed. i felt so dirty and violated. i smacked and cussed him out like a stepchild. he's not gonna be poking my defenseless, albeit stubborn, baby in her little precious head. i will cut him.

i did kinda call the doctor this morning and ask if it's really okay to have sex now since baby girl has dropped and the whole mucus plug thing. and i kinda cussed him out because had he not done that ECV, everything wouldn't have progressed as quickly as it has. and very nonchalantly, he told me to light some candles, take a nice, long warm bath, and have a go at it with Jay. sex will help with effacement and loosen the vaginal walls, and orgasms should help induce labor. i don't think i can do it though. it just doesn't seem right.

you know what's depressing? writing a will and deciding who gets to live, me or baby girl, in case something goes horribly wrong during delivery. we've been putting it off for a while and today we're supposed to meet with our lawyer to get it done; but i don't particularly like that man so i'm just gonna write it out myself. as long as it's in writing and signed by me and a witness, it's a legal doc and can't be contested. well, it could, but i'd be dead so it wouldn't really matter to me. i don't think Jay's gonna be too happy about who gets zoe if both he and i die before she's 18 [hint: it won't be his family]. he can kiss my ass. i'm the mommy; what i say goes.

i really want some taco bell.

Labels: baby business

--i refused to spellcheck @ 2:28 PM | |