i'm sorta kinda studying for the GRE. i'm ridiculously intimidated by that test. i think it's because i perform so badly on standardized tests in general. i've always been one to question their validity. i mean seriously, how many times in your life have you used the word "ameliorate" or "vituperative" in a sentence in everyday conversation?

a buncha bullshit is what it is.

you can't predict how well a person will do in college based on some words randomly selected from webster's. i got a mediocre score on the ACT BOTH times i took it and and graduated from college with honors. so, i don't think those tests are at all indicative of success in school.

i just don't wanna take that shit. i just spent three and a half years in college; why isn't that enough? i had to take a test to get out of high school, one to get into college, one to get out of college. i'm sick of tests. just let me in an accredited grad program and i'll work my ass of for another degree. just don't make me take that damn GRE!

ugh.

but anyhoos, the plan is for me to study during the summer, take the test in august and apply to the cog.nition & cog.nitive neuro program at v@ndy soon after.

my gpa is fine; i can get some great letters of recommendation from the few professors i didn't piss off over the years; and i have research experience. it's the stupid GRE i'm worried about. i know it's a self-fulfilling prophecy to go in thinking i'm going to do horribly, but i don't see myself pulling off a 1300. i'm smart but not that damn smart.

but if i do get a good score and get accepted into the program, i wanna take a few classes next spring just to keep everything fresh. if i'm pregnant again, i'll take the fall off and go back full time the following spring. maybe. i'll probably end up taking another year off because i wouldn't want to leave my baby boy or girl in some daycare for school.

maybe i'm getting ahead of myself. right now, the only thing i'm sure of is that i can't stay home and do nothing while Jay's working. most of my friends are moving on to jobs and grad schools elsewhere; if i'm not gonna be barefoot and pregnant, i need to be in school keeping my intellectual and creative juices flowing. i thought about getting a job or something, but i'm not qualified or don't have enough experience to do what i want.

i think we need to move back closer to the city. Jay gets off work at 5 but he doesn't make it home until almost 6 because of stupid traffic. i don't like that. i already hate the fact that he's working anyway, and now there's stupid traffic to keep him away even longer. it would be a good idea for me to start dinner though.

Labels: this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 5:52 PM | |