Jay and i went to Mem-phus yesterday for his sister's graduation. i thought i could get away with just hanging out at my mom's before and after the graduation to keep the awkwardness to a minimum but it didn't quite work out that way.

apparently, his folks didn't like my attitude the weekend they visited for Jay's graduation so they decided to have a little "family meeting" with me a few hours before Jess's graduation. until this point i've had the mentality of 'don't say anything to me, i won't say anything to you, and we won't have any problems'. it works for me. but when Jay said they wanted to talk, i thought maybe they would man up, apologize and take responsibility for their role in the current rift between me and them as well as Jay and them.

and this is why i don't get paid to think.

i was gonna be civil until those bitches had the audacity to place the blame on me and insinuate everything would be peachy-fucking-keen if i would just let everything go because "it's all in the past." are you kidding me? no, are you FUCKING kidding me?

let's see, when we told them i was pregnant, Jay's dad insisted i get an abortion because a baby was a mistake and would ruin Jay's life. what every expectant mother wants to hear.

when my family went away for Thanksgiving, spending the holiday with his family was out of the question given the situation with his dad; so i Jay and i to have our own little turkey day dinner at our house. his mom accused me of using my pregnancy and the baby as a way to keep Jay from his family. me not wanting to be alone on a family-oriented holiday when i'm 5 months pregnant had nothing to do with it.


and when Jay was in Miami for the superbowl, his brother, while filming in an elevator taking them up to their suite, pretty much said i was useless since i was pregnant and encouraged Jay to cheat on me because he was hundreds of miles away in a city full of beautiful women and what i didn't know wouldn't hurt me.


all of this from people who i've known for years, people i considered my family. oh, but i'm supposed to hold no grudges and be all smiles whenever i'm around them because "it's all in the past". i suppose i should thank them as well for all the stress i was under during the pregnancy as well. get that shit out of my life.

it just made me dislike them even more. if their goal was to ease the tension before the ceremony, they failed miserably. the worst part about it is how they fail they acknowledge the affect it's had on Jay. even though i can't stand their existence, the only reason he even calls them now is because i make him. i don't want him to not have a relationship with his family because of me. i'm done with it though. Jess is the only person in that family i have any desire to remain in contact with. the rest of them can peace the fuck out.

tomorrow, we're having a bunch of friends over for beer and barbecue.
good times.
yup.

Labels: my love, this is who i am, weekend stuff

--i refused to spellcheck @ 4:31 PM | |