i'm pretty sure i'm experiencing the longest hangover in my hangover history. my alcohol tolerance is definitely nowhere near it used to be.
stupid drinko cinco de mayo.

Jay has been doing lots of partying since he's finished school. that doesn't make me very happy but i have no choice but to get over it.

i am no longer excited about his graduation. i'm very proud of him and his achievements and yadda yadda yadda, but i'm not looking forward to all the awkwardness and fakeness from everyone. i really hate it has to be that way.

i'd sell my left pinky toe for a spicy chicken sammich from wendy's and a blue coconut slushie from sonic right about now.

FOCUS DAMMIT!

oh, some dude from the gym has a crush on me. i meant to write about that a few days ago but i forgot. i have yet to fully recover my memory loss from pregnancy stuff. it's really frustrating to want to do something and immediately forget what it was you were about to do and spend half an hour trying to figure out what the fuck it was you were going to do before you forgot. you don't get those minutes back, man.

oh, and another thing-- Jay has accepted a full time job that starts in TWO WEEKS at the company where he interned last summer. i'm 75% sure the anger i feel about that shit is the reason my eye has been twitching since thursday.

i have too much goddamn stress in my life. i've started smoking again because of it. and every time i smoke i cry because my smoking is part of the reason my little girl died during delivery. and that should be enough to make me not want to smoke, but it isn't and that makes me feel like a horrible person who doesn't deserve to have kids.

Labels: my love, so random, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:20 AM | |