i'm pretty sure i've said this once or a dozen times before, but i deserve a fucking medal and worldwide recognition for the things i do for love. if it weren't for that nasty little four letter word, i wouldn't do any of it, but there would be a whole lotta people with some busted kneecaps and cracked skulls.

about friday:

i woke up at 3am and went to kinko's to make 100 copies of a map [i made MYSELF] of how to get from campus to our house. i asked that mildly retarded heifer that was helping me to print in gold ink on black paper. bitch printed in black ink on gold paper. whatever. i didn't have time to cuss her out so i just paid for it and went on my not-so-merry little way.

i went over to one of the fags' house to get my hair straightened. it takes less time when you have someone else do it. plus, i needed someone to tell me i was gonna make it through the day without losing my fucking mind or killing someone.

after that, headed over to another friend's house to pick up my dress. she was a doll and got her mom to steam it for me. it looked so fucking gorgeous. i was so excited i peed my pants a little.

minus the incident at kinko's, everything was actually going pretty well until i got back home to start getting ready.

the dress did not fit.

it fit perfectly when i tried it on at the store, but i was still dieting in hopes of maintaining my weight because i couldn't afford to gain a single pound or i wouldn't be able to wear it. it never occurred to me that losing more weight would have the same affect, BUT i still bought a backup dress because i like snickers and cheetos and mountain dew in excessive amounts. it was more of casual, springtime, appropriate for graduation dress and not as fierce, but it was pretty. ooh, but there was lots of kicking and screaming when i realized the one i wanted to wear didn't fit anymore. and because i wasn't wearing the black dress, Jay had to change from a black shirt to a white one. cause i said so.

after getting myself together and getting Jay out of the house, i got a call from the catering company saying that the food and stuff would be delivered at 11. the ceremony started at 9 and i didn't think it would last more than 2 hours, so i told them i would be 15 or 20 minutes late because i was coming from nashville, but i would be there to let them in the house or whatever. the man told me that would not be a problem as long as they were able to leave by noon because they had to be somewhere for another event.

so, after that, i gave myself a little pep talk and left for the ceremony. but of course, i didn't get to campus without being stuck in traffic for 30 minutes and looking for a parking space for another 15. i made it to the lawn just as the graduates were taking their seats. i spotted Jay's sister who thankfully saved a seat for me. she's the only decent one in that whole family.

for the next hour and a half, there were speakers on stage talking and the stupid choir singing. i'm thinking "PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN HIS GODDAMN DIPLOMA! I HAVE TO PEE! AND I HAVE TO BE HOME IN 30 MINUTES! LET'S GET TO GETTIN'!!"

10:50 rolls around and they've just begun handing out the diplomas and they're not even in Jay's "school" yet. i wanted to cry right then but i kept my composure and texted Jay to apologize and tell him i had to leave. he said it was okay, but i felt so horrible about leaving. his sister offered to give everyone the maps, which was great because i didn't want to, and i left and drove like a bat out of hell home.

and yes, there was lots of screaming and crying. i didn't get to see Jay graduate, i didn't get to take pictures of him receiving his diploma, or any of that stuff i was supposed to do.

fast-forward to people coming to the house.

lots of passive-aggressive comments about not having the gathering at a bigger place, my weight loss, my dress being too short, the custom license plates on my car, the fact that Jay and i are still together, and some other stupid bullshit. after half an hour of that, Jay took it upon himself to stand on my glass motherfucking table to announce to everyone that if they weren't gonna show me any respect, they needed to stop eating all of our food and get the hell out of our house because i was the one who sent out the graduation invitations and arranged and set up the whole post-graduation gathering at the house after reservations for the banquet room fell through.

i guess the people like free food because their attitudes changed [a little] for the better. for the most part, i stayed upstairs and out of the way. i figured the less i was seen, the less likely it was for me to have choke a bitch. one of his aunts who made a comment about my weight wandered upstairs looking for somewhere to change and went into the nursery. i yelled at her.

and i liked it.

a lot.

after that, nothing worth mentioning happened. a storm rolled through and because thunder scares the bejeezus outta me, i got to snuggle with Jay the rest of the day.

saturday, we went to georgia with our ex-neighbor to go camping. i absolutely hate camping because the first and only time i ever went, i got poison ivy on my ass, but i really didn't want to be anywhere near this place during the weekend so i was more than willing to go this time around. i kinda wanted to forget mother's day existed.

we had hot monkey sex in our tent. and i caught a fish without running away screaming "GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" i was almost eaten alive by mosquitoes though.

but all's well that ends well.

at least that's what i tell myself everyday.

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 2:18 PM | |