howdy kids.

i think i'm having a better day today. yesterday, i was really sad and depressed and feeling neglected. i couldn't talk to anyone because for some reason, people think that if they say how bad other people have it compared to me, i'll just get over it.

it does not work that way with me. what other people are going through is not relevant to my situation so i don't give a fuck about them and i sure as hell don't wanna hear about it. i'm selfish like that.

so, i spent most of the day at the gym working out all my anger. it's becoming my second home. and it's becoming unhealthy. if didn't work out all the time, i'd just have some other unhealthy obsession instead. i cannot be in this house alone all day while Jay's working; i have to do something to keep me busy or i'll end up right back where i was 2 months ago.

i'm not coping well with Jay working. i'm left feeling so out of my element. for as long we've known each other, we've spent more time together than apart. now, i have to share him with the 9 to 5 world. i'm a fairly generous person but there are two things in this world i do not like to share-- my food and my man-- you can have everything else. but i'll fight you for touching the other two.

everyone says i'm being unreasonble and selfish. but what they fail to realize is we're not a normal couple. there's nothing anyone can say or do to convince me i'm wrong for not wanting that douchebag to have a well-paying job with benefits and shit. he's a trust fund baby. he could live off the money he has in the bank for the next 5 years and still have plenty to spare. he doesn't need a job. that bastard should've started off with a part-time job. i would've had a little more time to adjust. but no, a week after finishing school this motherfucker is working full-time. i have been traumatized by this shit but no one seems to care about that. do you know how much sex and cuddling time i'm losing because of a stupid job? i require too much attention to ever be okay with this.


[edit: i quit before i started. and it wasn't urban outfitters, it was hollister. i get those two mixed up a lot. i buy from UO online and hollister in-store. fuck you. they all look alike.]

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 5:10 PM | |