howdy, internet folks. not much going on 'round here. i made a new-old template. i don't know how it looks though. does it work? yes? no? maybe?

Jay and i have been celebrating his birthday with lots of drinking, lots of smoking, and lots of makeup sex. we have really great sex. and it never gets old or boring. i love that. sometimes he catches me off guard with the stuff he does. it scares the shit out of me; you can't just be throwing in new sex moves all willy nilly. either you're fucking someone else or you're watching porn when i'm not around. if you like having two balls and dick, it better be the porn, buddy.

we watch porn together but never for a significant amount of time. i'm not turned on by it at all. i'll either laugh uncontrollably or sit there in shock and awe. i'm sorry but anyone who's turned on by watching some guy wiggle his head in some girl's cooch needs some serious help.

i'm on my second glass of wine, don't listen to me. it's all true, but pretty pointless. you will never get back the few minutes you spend reading this bullshit.

Jay told me to tell y'all to stop reading this. he wants me to quit blogging altogether and considers y'all enablers. but don't pay any attention to him, he's *special*. but i love his special ass. Jay has a nice ass. i like to smack it and bite it and pinch it.

he made me cry today. bitch ate my last poptart. i don't get it. he will submit to damn near any and every outrageous demand i have, but he refuses to let me have one goddamn box of poptarts to myself. gah. what the hell is wrong with him? i don't really know, but he looks good nekkid.
*evil grin*

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 1:20 AM | |