i'm so fucking exhausted after these past couple of days with my niece.

she never. stops. talking.

i swear from the moment she wakes up at 6:30 in the goddamn morning until she goes to sleep at night, her mouth is running nonstop. by noon, i'm, like, "is your mouth dry?" she says, "no." and i'm thinking 'well, it should be.'

every morning starts off the same: she waddles her ass upstairs and bangs on our bedroom door while screaming, "TIA, I WOKE UP!! LET ME IN THIS ROOM!!" and you can't ignore her because she'll cry. she even says she's gonna cry if you don't let her in. but she doesn't really cry, she screams like you're the boogie man and you're about to chop off her head.

saturday morning, i gave her a bowl of cereal, got a bunch of toys out, and put the tv on nickelodeon. that kept her occupied for a good 2 and a half hours before she got bored and woke us up again. she wouldn't go away the second time around cause "it's time to play", so i didn't have any choice but to get up and get her and myself ready for the day. Jay's punk ass went back to sleep though. i wasn't gonna let that shit fly so i told her to tell Jay all about her new Tinkerbell themed bedroom while i was in the shower. he was a good sport though. he let her talk and talk and talk his ear off. i didn't realize until after the fact that he had to sit through all of it in bed with the covers wrapped tightly around his waist because he wasn't wearing any underwear and he didn't know how to get away from her to put some on.

oops, my bad.

after a starbucks run to get some pep in my step, the kid and i spent the afternoon shopping for new school clothes and shoes. i guess technically they would be after-school clothes since she has to wear a uniform to school. she didn't like the fact that she was gonna have to wait until school started to wear her new clothes, so i got her a few outfits and some ballet flats and flip-flops she could wear now.

afterwards, i wanted to go to target for her school supplies but she was hungry and tired, so we went to the cheesecake factory for lunch and went back home. i was so glad we made it home when we did, because it started raining soon after. yeah, i don't do the driving in the rain thing. nuh uh. not happening. but i was very happy with myself for not buying anything for me the entire time we were in the mall. i didn't think that was possible; i seem to have a shopping problem.

after napping for a couple of hours, the kid was ready to terrorize the world again. i was still tired so Jay took her out and they played soccer while i laid out to tan. not even 20 minutes goes by before i hear screaming and melodramatic marcia brady comes running to me. where's a bloody mary when you need it?

"he kicked the ball in my face! ooh, tia, it hurts so bad!"

"am i bleeding? is my face scratched?"

"YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO HIT GIRLS, JAY!"

and poor Jay. he felt so bad and kept apologizing, but she was not hearing it and made him feel worse.
"don't talk to me."

"you hit me in the face with that ball."

"i don't like you no more."

"tia, don't talk to him. he hits girls."

once i assured her her pretty little face wasn't scarred for life and gave her a popsicle, she was okay. she let Jay be her friend again and she even shared some of her popsicle with the dog. then, i had to let Jay feel me up cause i gave her a treat and didn't give him one. his words, not mine.

after lounging around for a while, we decided to go see the new harry potter movie. Jay and i wanted to see the simpsons movie, but i didn't think it would be appropriate for my 6 year old niece to see bart simpson's little peen.

she's all into the HP stuff and really enjoyed the movie even though it was her 3rd time seeing it; Jay and i were just kinda like "huh?" the whole time. he even fell asleep a couple of times. she had fun and that's all i really cared about. i was really surprised that we only had to take 2 restroom breaks. and they both went fairly smoothly.

when we got home, the kid wanted to have "some more fun", so we played uno attack. that didn't go very well because she kept getting "attacked". it always happened after my turn, so she thought i was cheating, threw a fit and didn't wanna play anymore. then we played checkers. i let her win cause i didn't wanna have to deal with another one of her bitch fits. she's such a poor sport.

when it was time for bed, she started asking why i wouldn't let her go in the nursery. she thought i was hiding toys in there. i tried to explain it to her in a way she could understand and without me getting visibly upset. i did pretty well until she started asking about Zoe and the actual delivery. i haven't been able to talk to anyone about that, i sure as hell couldn't do it with a child who couldn't possible understand what i went through. thankfully, Jay was there to change the subject to all the new clothes she got, and i was able to slip away and regain my composure.

i was so glad when she finally went to sleep.

*

today has been more lax. we only left the house one time and that was to get all her school supplies. it was so fucking hot i almost didn't wanna go out to do that. i hate summer.

again, the kid didn't like having stuff she could touch right away, so Jay got her a little art kit so she could draw and paint. we pretty much spent the rest of the day on the couch being lazy tards-- watching movies and napping. Jay and i were able to sneak away for a quickie here and there when she was asleep or so into her latest masterpiece she wasn't paying any attention to us.

we're gonna take her back to my brother in the morning. i kinda wanna keep her around a little longer, but i'll be alright without those 6am wake up calls from her. i feel like i've missed a huge part of her life. it wasn't that long ago, she was this itty bitty little thing that i couldn't get enough no matter how many times she ran over my feet with her bike demanding that i give her a tookie [cookie]. i'm gonna miss all of her craziness so much. i haven't laughed as much as i have this weekend in so long. it's nice to be reminded that life doesn't suck ass all the time.

but i'm definitely ready to have sex whenever, wherever i want in my house. ;-)
--i refused to spellcheck @ 1:35 AM | |