i've been trying really hard to stay out of the shit going on between Jay and his parents. no matter how hard i try to stay out of it, they find a way to bring me in. actually, it's even not the both of them; it's his mom.

there's nothing that can be done to mend my relationship with his dad. absolutely nothing. his words don't mean shit and he can't pay me to go away like he does the rest of his problems. fuck him in the ass with a sick dick.

my issue with is mom is completely different. she's losing her shit. keep in mind that even though his folks have their issues with me, i still believe Jay should maintain a good relationship with them. i don't want me or my baby girl [and future baby girls and boys] to be the reason that he and his parents aren't getting along. as long as they don't talk shit about me, we won't have anymore problems.

once the initial tension between us eased up a little, i chalked it all up to her just being a mom not wanting to see her baby grow up and have a life of his own where she's not the number 1 woman in his life. i'm not really a mom yet, but i can totally understand that. no one wants to feel like their second best; hell, i felt that way the first 3 of 4 years i've been with him. it's not a great feeling. but this bitch is straight up on some other shit now. she's acting like i'm holding him captive and brainwashing him against her and the rest of his family.

his dog, Roxy, is really sick-- she has cancer and she's starting to go blind in her right eye; she's downright miserable from what Jay's told me and there's nothing that can be done about it. they have to either wait it out or put her to sleep.

she's Jay's dog, so the decision about what to do is his. he wanted to have a little bit of time with her before putting her to sleep, so he told his mom he would come home this weekend and they could do it monday after he left, because he didn't want to be there for it. given what he's been through the past few months, that seems like a very logical thing to do, right?

nope, not according to his mom. if it weren't for me keeping him away from home, he would be there more than just a couple of days and he would be there with them family when they had the dog put to sleep. but i'm filling his head with all kinds of things and turning him against them.

the fuck?! i know i'm a bad bitch, but my pussy ain't got that much power. if it did, my ass would be cruising around nekkid on a yacht in st. tropez with an endless supply of sangrias, without a care in the world.

if anything, she's the one turning Jay against them. instead being supportive and understanding, she's always trying to make him feel guilty about something. why would he want to be around that shit?

ugh. it's all so childish and stupid. i feel really bad for Jay because i know it's hurting him, feeling like he has to choose sides. i don't know what to do to make things right for him.

i feel so useless.

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 3:19 PM | |