it's been a little busy around here so i haven't really been able to get to my little laptop to feed your obsession with my life. heh.

today, i went to the gym for the first time in a few weeks. oh yes, i'm feelin the burn. it hurts so bad, but feels so good. almost like sex.
almost.

the guy that has a little crush on me was very delighted to see me.
he hugged me.
and he was sweaty.
i didn't appreciate that shit.
i don't particularly care for my own sweat, nonetheless some dude's who i barely know.
i felt a little violated.
he's lucky i didn't have my mace.

oh, btw, primerica is pretty much a scam, or at least that's the impression Jay got. but he did get a referral for a position at a bank [not from primerica; another contact] and i may or may not have a little gig as a receptionist for a clinical psychologist. i have to admit, i kinda feel bad about him losing that other job, even though it wasn't me who forced him to "create a hostile work environment" [it's so much funnier when tells that whole story], i was the catalyst. so, for his sake, i hope that he gets this new job. hopefully, i'll be working as well because that's really the only way i see myself handling this whole situation. i think. i ain't making no promises.

whatcha doin for the 4th? we're gonna barbecue and then go downtown for the fireworks display. we were gonna go to memphis for the day, but Jay says he likes it better when we do our own thing here because we don't have to divide our time up between families and there's no awkwardness and hostility to worry about. i had a smartass retort for that, but i kept it to myself.

this weekend, we're going to a wedding. i don't really want to but Jay asked me to go with him and it's really hard for me to tell him no when he makes that sad puppy dog face. i hate his family. i swear, if any one of those bitches say one thing out of line, it's gon' be a misunderstanding. y'all will see me on the nightly news.

funny thing, i was pretty gung-ho about planning my own wedding when we were first engaged, but now not so much. even if we did get married, it wouldn't be the wedding i've always wanted. my dad probably wouldn't be there to walk me down the aisle, i wouldn't be received with open arms by my in-laws. it just wouldn't be right. i think when we're ready, we should just go to vegas, then come back home and have a huge fucking party.a formal reception? that's so not me. it's a celebration. i'm wearing the sluttiest outfit i can find. i wanna see some half nekkid men and bitches doing body shots.

*LIGHTBULB!*!

playboy bunnies and the dudes from chippendale's! how much do they cost?

no, for serious!

Labels: my love, this is who i am

--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:13 PM | |