i'm not gonna make it to october. i'm just not. no way in hell. i will get this baby out by my damn self if i have to go the full 40 weeks. fucking torture is what it is. i can't sit or stand for more than 20 minutes without feeling like someone has taken a sledge hammer and crushed my lower back. i'm getting migraines every other day. i keep getting these random-ass nose bleeds. and these awful goddamn contractions. i've been a good girl, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?!

and i hate hate hate hate FUCKING HATE people "trying to help". leave me alone. you are not helping; you're making me extremely anxious and nervous and getting on my goddamn nervesjust standing there breathing. and why the fuck are you breathing so loudly? get the fuck away from me before i slit your fucking throat. except if you're my nephew cause he's the bee's knees. he just wants kisses and hugs and to rest his little curly head on my big titties. and maybe cop a feel here and there. i don't really appreciate him stealing my juicy juice or throwing his sippy cup at me, but i'm gonna let that shit go.....for now. but on his 5th birthday, shit is on like donkey kong.

Jay, if you're reading this, and i know you are, i'm sorry for throwing the screwdriver at your head and smashing your laptop with the stroller. but you really shouldn't tell me you're gonna do something and start doing work stuff instead. it makes me very angry. forgive me? k. oh, and i kinda forgot to pick up your suits from the dry cleaner so you might wanna make a stop there when you leave work. i'd do it but i don't really feel like it, so i'm not gonna. actually, it's more that i don't wanna go out because it's so hot and i'd rather just play in the pool with the little midget. and i'm not cooking again until after the baby is like a year old because you made me cook on labor day for your stupid friends and coworkers. xoxox

oooh, the bodyguard is on.

Labels: baby business, my love, so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:20 AM | |