you ever have one of those moments where you don't really know what to say or do so you just sit there and make farting sounds with your mouth? yeah, i'm having one of those moments. after much delay, Jay had to lay off 7 people in his department and he's feeling like the biggest asshole because of it. it's really not his fault though. he was given notice back in october, when he went back to work, that there were gonna be cuts when the company lost the chry.sler account. he stalled and and stalled and stalled for almost 4 months, but with all the cuts and other proposed cuts [including a salary cut for himself!!!???!!!], he couldn't save any of the people he had to let go. what makes it even worse for him was that the majority of the people he had to let go were the ones he's developed personal relationships with outside the job AND who spent the most time working with him on that account, along with other major ones. he feels like he's ruined people's lives and their gonna be jobless and homeless and it's all his fault. i've been trying to remind him that he's never been responsible for others' paychecks and job security; none of that has anything to do with what he does and it's the powers that be's fault for spending money they didn't have. he did more than anyone else ever thought of to keep those people from losing their jobs, but greed and selfishness tends to trump compassion, sympathy, and empathy.

while i'm doing my best to cheer up my husband, that whole situation has got me thinking: what if Jay lost his job? we had a lot of money saved because we both have trust funds, but buying this house took a significant chunk out of the money had saved. and by significant, i mean more than 70% a piece. more than 70% from my savings and more than 70% from his. that's a lot of money. he'll be set when his grandmother dies but the evil ones tend to live the longest. i, on the other hand, only have interest to rely on at the moment; the money i'll inherit from my granddad is chump change compared to what he'll get. and what if we were to get divorced? i know littlebits would be taken care of, but i know he'd fight me to death for spousal support. or maybe not. he has told me many times he'd kill me before he'd let me leave him and i'm starting to take that threat more seriously now. [only because i think the good ones have homicidal tendencies. and Jay is kinda crazy. trust me. crazy knows crazy.]

i'm probably getting too far ahead of myself, but this is really the closest i have been to our delightful economy affecting my family. there's no denying the shitty state we're in, but i like oblivion; it keeps me happy. i've never thought about Jay losing his job due to a failing economy. i worry about him losing his job because he's so goddamn temperamental and he's gonna pick the wrong goddamn day to fuck with the wrong person. i mean, seriously, how many people say "fuck you and fuck this job" to their boss, go home, and actually have a job to go to the next day? yeah, this a weekly thing with him.

so, how do you prepare and manage through a recession? even if you have money saved, how long will it last given the job market and the limited amount of resources available to help those in need? people have been doing things from taken their homes hostage to taking their own lives and the lives of others [which i will never understand! okay, fine. if you're gonna kill someone, kill yourself. don't be killing babies and spouses who have nothing to do with you getting laid off.]

oh, my ittle bittles is just waking up from a very late nap which means we're probably gonna be up for a while. i was so looking forward to getting some dick and being asleep by 10.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:57 PM | |