ittle bittles!!

my sweet darling little girl, you're 1 year old now! i still remember every detail of your birth like it was yesterday. labor, delivery, hearing you cry and seeing your littleface for the first time. most newborns look like little ugly old people, but you, my love, were an exception. you were the most beautiful baby in the world that day. i would love to take credit for that, but you look too much like your daddy for me to do so. he's not that bad-looking so i won't complain.

from the moment i found out i was pregnant with you, your daddy and i have documented every milestone of your life. from my forever expanding belly to your first steps, we've captured it all. i still can't believe how you've grown from this tiny little thing to a crawling and walking, gibberish-talking little girl. as your daddy would say, à la Dave Chappelle, "you used to live in my balls, kid!"

on your birthday, we went for your 12 month checkup. this was my first time taking you to the doctor alone, and even though it was all about you, i was very proud of myself for not crying when you got your shots. you cried very briefly, but once you looked at me and got a reassuring look, you were back to your little happy self in no time. the doctor was so pleased at how much you babbled, especially since you've been known to be quite antisocial and just downright mean during previous visits.

after we left the doctor, we went to daddy's work to have lunch with him. as usual, everyone on the floor stopped by to see you and tell you how precious and gorgeous you are. naturally, you loved every bit of the attention. and i'm pretty sure you definitely get the "friendly gene" from your daddy. i don't love them hoes.

you're always super-excited when we go see daddy at work because he lets you crawl all around his office letting you get into just about everything. and you love it when he sits at his desk with you on his lap letting you bang on the keyboard like you're really doing some work. so much cuteness. we're trying to get in as much daddy-time as possible since he'll be leaving very soon and we won't see him for a while. mommy's not looking forward to that at all.

once we left daddy, we went home where your aunt jess was waiting for you with presents from her and your grandparents in tow. you got several new outfits and toys and some educational dvds . you weren't really all that interested in them because you were so sleepy by that time. so we both took a long nap and when we woke up, daddy was home with pizza, cake, and ice cream. i only let you have a little bit of cake and ice cream as i don't let you have too much of anything with refined sugar in it, but you ate almost a whole slice of pizza by yourself! daddy thought pizza should be your special birthday treat so he was gifted with the pleasure of having to change your diaper later on. girl, you are too young to be smelling like that.

after a couple of hours of playtime with daddy, you had a bath, watched your new "back at the barnyard" dvd with mommy and daddy, and daddy read you a bedtime story. you were out by 8:15. i'm pretty sure that's the earliest you've gone to bed yet.

once you were asleep, the tears finally started to flow. you have no idea how having you has made our lives so much better. i've never been so happy in all my life. we love you so much and we're grateful to have you as our little girl, our littleface. i love you more than you'll ever know.

happy 1st birthday, ava-marie.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 11:30 AM | |

busy busy busy bee i am. my great uncle died 2 weeks ago after a year-long battle with lung and brain cancer. while we were getting his affairs in order, we found out he didn't have life insurance because he was HIV+ and no one would insure him. while everyone else was arguing over money and who would pick up the funeral costs*, i was simply in awe of how this man lived with a terrible disease for nearly a decade and not a single one of us knew about it. i couldn't imagine living with something like that and never telling a soul.

my mom hasn't been doing so well either. i'm hoping it's just the stress of everything that's happened with my little brother [finally checked himself into rehab!!] and having to take care of our uncle the past month of his life that has taken its toll on her. maybe now that there's some relief in those areas she'll bounce back to her normal self.

getting everything together for lits' birthday has been quite a task. i'm pretty sure i've gone way overboard but it's her first birthday. i'm supposed to make a big deal out of this. invitations were sent out last week and everyone has RSVP'd, i've got all the decorations and party supplies, the cake and catering is all set. now, all i need is for someone dressed as hello kitty to come and entertain a few kids for a couple of hours and my job is done. it would be nice if it didn't rain the day of the party too but i won't hold my breath for that one.

Jay will be leaving us for 6 weeks to work in london. when he first told me about it, i was quite upset, but i could do all the bitching and whining in the world and he'd still have to go. so all i can do is be supportive and make the best of it. he'll be home for lits' birthday and her party but he'll miss my next checkup when we find out the baby's sex and he's gonna miss lits getting all dressed up for halloween and trick-or-treating. *sad face*

gawd, i wish it would stop raining.

*did you know the VA only pays all the funeral costs if a terminally ill vet dies in a hospital, otherwise they only pay for the burial? that's some straight up bullshit right there.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:26 PM | |