the first week of Jay being gone has been very, very unpleasant. ava got sick almost immediately after he left thanks to some idiot bringing their sick kid to ava's party. who the fuck does that?! why would you bring your sick kid around a bunch of healthy kids at a goddamn party? that shit is so not right. oh! and i found out this is the same bitch who hosts chicken pox parties! yeah, the intentionally give other kids chicken pox! what kind of fuckery is this? bitch is banned from my life. permanently.

my poor, helpless littleface. coughing, sneezing, vomiting, crying, and whining for her daddy. oh, she was so pitiful. she's better now, but she's not sleeping well AT ALL. she wakes up several times in the middle of the night calling out for her daddy. then, she'll stay up for an hour, hour and a half waiting for him to walk through the door. sometimes, she's awake when he calls but that just confuses her even more. she's all excited because she hears her daddy's voice but then he never comes home. since she's not sleeping at night, she's terribly cranky during the day. i put on a happy face for everyone like i'm handling this whole situation extremely well, but i'm not. i have my own selfish reasons for being sad and angry, but i hate all of this for ava. i die a little everytime i hear her call for him knowing he's not gonna be there to pick her up and cuddle with her and read her bedtime stories and all the other daddy stuff he does with her. this shit sucks to the nth degree. however, i do take a little comfort in that Jay thinks he might be able to shave off two weeks of his time away based on how much work he's gotten done already. so, fingers and toes crossed.

this past friday, i had my 20 week checkup. fun times being poked and prodded. i peed a little when i got my sonogram. well, it wasn't my fault. you can't just press on someone's bladder and not expect a little pee to come out. all is well with me and the tiny nugget. i'm building another baby girl!!! *squeeeeeeee* we're pretty excited. it's gonna be really interesting having two little girls near the same age. i can only imagine the hell they're gonna raise when they're older.

fuck that, i'll run away.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:49 PM | |