having a toddler is so damn awesome 95% the time. ava-marie is such a happy, carefree little person; you can't help but love being around her. she just talks and talks with the most intense expressions on her face. she makes me think she's telling me some really heavy shit, like secret government information, and i'm a terrible person because i don't understand a single word that's coming out of her mouth. but i sit and nod in agreement and engage with her like i really know what's going on in the conversation we're having.

i can deal with the her crankiness, tantrums, refusing to eat, pouring juice on my freshly swiffered kitchen floor, daddy being gone for a month.... but i absolutely hate it when my little girl is sick. oh, she's just so damn pitiful. it's as if all the life in her is being sucked out and i'm left with this limp little noodle of a kid. the coughing, the runny nose, the fever, the whimpering. ugh, the whimpering. that's what truly breaks my heart. it's different when she's crying just be an asshole from when she's crying because she's sick and doesn't know what the hell to do with herself. then, she curls up in my arms and gives me these looks like "mama, make it stop. make it go away", and i die a little.

it's already a task to take care of a sick one year old, but then there's me trying not to get sick so the little nugget in the oven doesn't get sick. goodness. i could really use a long nap right about now.

ETA: we had to take lits to the ER at 2am after her fever spiked and she was screaming bloody murder. fun stuff, let me tell ya. poor baby has a double ear infection and to go along with this terrible cold she has. follow-up with the pediatrician tomorrow morning. for now, i have to torture the kid with antibiotics and a syringe up her nose. ugh.
--i refused to spellcheck @ 1:11 PM | |