today has been really weird. i can't explain it, but i've been feeling awkward all day. for no particular reason...just weird.

things at work are VERY hectic. in addition to recruiting, scheduling, screening subjects, and so much more, i'm going to have to learn phlebotomy. i knew i was gonna have to do it eventually, but......have i ever mentioned how much i hate needles? haha. hopefully, i won't have to do anything beyond all the initial assessment though.
there's so much work-related stuff i would love to write about but i signed a confidentiality agreement that forbids it. i can't even tell Jay. the love i have for this man can never be into words but i ain't getting sued for nobody.

this afternoon, we had a major crisis when ALL of our computers crashed. we're always entering data into the system, so the directors are losing their minds because they don't know how much of the data,if any, was lost. i don't know about anyone else but i set my computer so that it autosaves on my thumbdrive [rufus is it's name] every 2 minutes. and at the time of the big crash, i was staring blankly at the screen because i'd already finished entering everything i had to. since we couldn't do any work and we didn't have any research going on at the time, a lot of us got sent home. i was beyond excited about that. luckily, Jess [Jay's sister] was done with classes for the day, so she took me to Jay's work so I could get the car [and a really nice kiss and a butt squeeze]. i was a little sad he couldn't leave and come home with me, but no biggie. see, i'm getting better. =)

when i got home, i checked rufus and he's in good shape. everything seems to be the way it should. i wanted to take a nap but didn't have the time to spare since i had to drive back to the city to pick up Jay.

did i complain a lot about the commute when we were in school? i don't think it was as bad then because we could get to campus and have a little time to spare and not RUSH. i cannot stand feeling rushed and it's like that every single morning and i know i cussed the entire time i was driving to get Jay this evening. traffic is beyond ridiculous. it's unacceptable. at this point, where Jay decides to go to grad school doesn't even matter. it does, but not at this very moment. whether or not we stay in Tennessee, and as much as i love this place we call home, we have to move closer to work and soon.

moving on.....

i'm VERY VERY VERY excited about this weekend. Jay has some secret special plans for us. i have no idea what it is. he only told me we're going straight to our destination right after work tomorrow, and to pack clothes for the weekend and work clothes for monday because we won't be coming back home until monday evening after work. Jess has a spare key so she's gonna come check up on the house and feed the dog and take her out and all that jazz. he didn't even tell her because she and i take all the time and Jess tells me EVERYTHING. [i know stuff he doesn't know, but don't tell him that ;)]

i don't know if we're staying local or going out of town. he locked me out of our bedroom when he was packing so i don't know what i should pack. of course, i absolutely love that he's done all this and obviously meticulously planned everything. i'm thrilled to pieces that he even thought to make this weekend about nothing but us. but y'all know i'm nosy as hell. i need to know what the hell is going on! i'm taking my laptop with me because i must check my email a thousand times a day, so hopefully i'll have an internet connection to get a little update in.

so, that's all going on with me. some days are great, some are horrible. i feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have Jay in my life. he keeps me alive. at the same time, there are so many things i wish i had the power to change to make things a little better for the both of us. i miss my baby girl more and more every day and wish so badly i could've been a better mommy and gave her the life she deserved. that loss is something neither Jay nor i will ever accept, but we are slowly but surely picking up the pieces and moving forward with our lives.

until i blog again,

cyber *hugs&smooches* to you all Y'ALL!
live.love.learn.
lessthan3

Labels: my love, so random, this is who i am, weekend stuff, work stuff

--i refused to spellcheck @ 8:08 PM | |