hi, kids. how you doin?

i'm really enjoying being pregnant-- i officially have a baby bump and no more morning sickness as i'm entering my second trimester-- and my super crazy-awesome husband who likes to run around gliding on the kitchen floor wearing nothin' but socks and kneepads. however, i've been extremely annoyed and easily agitated the past couple of days by other people, but it's not my fault. if people would just leave me alone and not do stupid shit, i wouldn't have to be so mean and bitchy.

WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYY do people feel it's necessary to touch my belly when they find out i'm pregnant? touching me without my consent pisses me off anyway, but now you're violating my baby which just sends me into angry mama bear mode. and you don't fuck with angry mama bears; that shit is dangerous. i didn't like it when i was pregnant before and i don't like it now. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

yesterday, Jay and i met at the park for lunch. while i was waiting for him, i fed the little birds and those feisty squirrels breadcrumbs. then, this pregnant chick and some other dingbat came and sat beside me. i didn't really pay any attention to them until the pregnant one decided to smoke not one, not two, but THREE goddamn cigarettes in a span of 5 minutes. i know it's not any of my business, but she was polluting my baby's air too, so i screamed "stupid bitch" and threw a handful of breadcrumbs at her. seriously, why would anyone smoke while they're pregnant? is satisfying a nicotine craving really more important than the health and life of your baby? what kind of fuckery is that? ugh.

AND THEN, we have Jay forcing me to be all stepford wifey and go to some stupid event that i know absolutely nothing about to make him look good. i really don't mind going cause i haven't gotten to play dress-up in a while and i kinda like hearing all the office gossip and putting faces to names; but i swear, if one person touches my goddamn belly, i'm taking out that whole fucking venue.

oh yeah, peanut says it's lunchtime.

Labels: new baby business, so random

--i refused to spellcheck @ 12:37 PM | |